Plucked from the nightmares of the most terrified of children.

It’s spiraling out of control like a rabbit soaked with petrol, it’s time to watch out because you won’t ever see this coming.

Fourteen out of fifteen experts really hate that fifteenth  expert for not knowing this was gonna happen. Thankfully they were ready. Are you?

Just what am I talking about?

This picture:

A post-modern look at the future of selective breeding.

A post-modern look at the future of selective breeding.

A partial list of things that I can realistically suplex: Part 4.‏

- A sack of coffee to start off the day.

- A beehive that is completely devoid of bees.

- A short person with a beehive hair style.

- An assault rifle, preferably unloaded with the safety on.

- Freshly cut wheat.

- GOATS, ESPECIALLY THE SIMULATED KIND!

- The competition! As long as I’m competing against children. I can beat children in anything except being short and smelly.

- I could suplex Jet Li. Or at least the life-sized cutout that my ladyface owns.

- Nerds. Boxes and boxes of nerds.

- The knowledge of the world contained in SSD drives.

DSC_0294

As per Ari, thanks Ari!

Everyday errands.

I went to town/
I had a frown.
But I never expected/
That I would drown.

But there I went/
As reality bent.
Out of a small garage/
Many tonnes of water were sent.

I was in over my head/
And was filled with dread.
All I wanted to do/
Was buy some organic bread.

There’s something I’m forgetting/
Something I’d be regretting.
I looked at my grocery list/
And then stopped my fretting.

I was ready for this/
I was filled with bliss.
On my list was a note/
In case something with amiss.

I simply stopped believing in water/
In this I did not falter.
I’m so glad I learned this trick/
From my good friend Walter.

The flood went away/
Back down by the bay.
But I stopped believing in water/
And died from dehydration the next day.

I think I'm getting better at these?

I think I’m getting better at these?