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Some thoughts:

Posted by sirselah on

Just once I’d love to see a corporate entity be openly disgusted with failing to meet their goal for a charity drive. Imagine going on a bus and seeing an ad for a fast food company with a picture of some sad children and something along the lines of: “Whelp, we only raised $5,000 for ________ last year. What a waste of time and effort.”

I was walking around downtown one day while wondering how to advance my career as a foot model. My problem is that I wasn’t getting anywhere near enough exposure. So I took my shoes and socks off. Problem solved.

Someday I will die a heroic death to save someone. As she holds me in her arms, I will tell her “If you see my wife, tell her that I love her,” to which she will reply “It’s me, I’m right here.” “How convenient,” I will say as I breathe my last.

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We all know the song “Fly Me To The Moon,” right?

Posted by sirselah on

Just so we’re in the clear I love this song just like everyone else in the world (and not just because I was brainwashed to do so by Bayonetta). However, the whole romantic flight to space thing that has been mentioned many times in popular culture has left me more than a little puzzled.

Right off the bat there’s the attire you’ll both be wearing. Either you’ll be remaining within the spacecraft to have a more relaxed variety of clothing options in which case you’re just spending your trip inside (although the view out the window would be nice I guess) or you’ll be outside of the space craft and wearing space suits. I’ve honestly never been in a space suit but I have never seen a picture of a person wearing a spacesuit that has led me to thinking of anything particularly romantic. Aside from that bit of craziness in Final Fantasy VIII of course.

Then there’s space itself. Although the scenery would be extremely beautiful and two people could truly feel alone together, I feel like the latter would be a novelty that would wear off quickly. Realistically two people can only admire themselves with no interruption for so long before boredom would set in. A time that would be much, much shorter than the time it would take to get into space in the first place.

All in all it seems like an excursion would to space may be somewhat romantic if you could make the trip easily, but with that said if it became easy to travel to space then everyone would do it and it would take much of the power and intimacy of such a trip in the first place. Or maybe I’m just jaded.

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Ever meet a kid who comes up with better comebacks than you?

Posted by sirselah on

One time Marsh and I were on the bus when this guy asked a kid that he was taking care of (who couldn’t have been older than ten) what he was going to do about something he just said/did in a joking manner. The kid was like “Knock knock.”

“Who’s there?”

“NOT YOU!”

Man, I wish I was that cool as a kid.

The latest addition to my fridge.

The latest addition to my fridge.

I’m selling buttons now!

Posted by sirselah on

Hi everyone! I’m selling buttons to help out with hosting/supply costs. If you’d like to show your support please visit my shop at http://www.etsy.com/shop/SirSelah to see my wares! Although it’s a group listing I will make separate listings upon request if you would like to purchase a particular button. I’ll leave a preview below. Buttons are $1.50 each plus shipping unless you live in the Halifax/Dartmouth area and I can easily give them to you physically in which case there’s no shipping charge. They’re one and a half inch in size.

Cheers! <3

Number 3 is my favorite in case you're wondering. :3

Number 3 is my favorite in case you’re wondering. :3

A list of things that I can generally fit into:

Posted by sirselah on

- A variety of roles depending on the scene I need to act out.

- A variety of rolls depending on how large they’re baked.

- The chicken suit I’ll be wearing at my next job if anyone finds out these are the “notes” I’ve been taking during meetings.

- Something sexier if you’d like.

- The urge to write “Your mom” in all caps is very strong. Apparently I’m still 14 and this sort of thing is funny.

- Large freezers, but let’s not try this one out okay?

- Photos that taken from at least several feet away.

- Footwear in my size.

- Public ball pits, although nobody will let me.

- The confines of society. Well, long enough to excel at a job interview anyway.

I gotta fill up the rest of our fridge door. Hmmm . . .

I gotta fill up the rest of our fridge door. Hmmm . . .

Search engine optimization, yo!

Posted by sirselah on

Search engine optimization is a great way to increase traffic to your site. Instead of trying to make myself more visible by writing out a bunch of words all over the site that are irrelevant to anything that I do, I’m going to inflate search terms that people are already using to find my site. Here are three of the more popular searches:

“things that feel good”

Things that feel good. I should draw more bees doing things that feel good. I should do things that feel good once in awhile. Mmmmmmmmmm . . .

“drawn erotica”

Drawn Erotica. But seriously, if you were actually looking for drawn erotica I'm sorry.

“have you ever skipped school because you were tired”

Have you ever skipped school because you were tired?

Wait, when did I become an adult?

Posted by sirselah on

Today while on a break from my office job I decided to forego buying an album and bought sunscreen instead. After half an hour or so it hit me. When did I start having mature priorities in life? Why am I only thinking of this now at the age of 26? When was the moment in your life that you realized the same for yourself if you’ve done so yet?

Okay, now that I have an opening paragraph long enough to mess with the WordPress/Facebook previews, let’s get something going here. Something a little more exciting if I may . . .

Let me tell you about something that’s going to happen tomorrow that I’m not actually aware of yet.

In the near future I’m going to go completely stir-crazy. You see, I’ll be in the kitchen when . . . Ha ha, just kidding. I’m not that terrible of a writer.

It’s a little hazy but in my near future I see myself in a shabby, worn out three piece suit as if I just wore it through a fierce battle. I apparently become rich somehow.  A wrecked hummer can be found parked in the middle of a casino lobby. Whether that has anything to do with me I’m not sure, but I’m being blamed for it anyway. I get beat up and thrown into jail. I escape. Making my way to a secluded forest north of a small town in a rural area of a central Canadian province, I use my money to become their king.

Using the resources of my small town I gather my loyal subjects together and we take over a smaller town. Then I pool the two towns together and take over a town that’s slightly smaller than the combination of those two towns. I repeat this until I become the Prime Minister. Then after a long struggle I finally manage to outlaw spiders while still having time for a sweet photo op before bed.

When this happens I’ll post pics as proof.

Memos are not a thing I do well. I am so sorry.

Memos are not a thing that I do well. I am so sorry.