Recently I have come to a startling discovery. I only exist because I imagine myself to exist. At first I was frightened by this, but the more I thought about it the more I realized that this could actually be an excellent thing.

First and foremost, walls are now more suggestion than fact. Real life hacks are the best. Being able to go anywhere at any time is pretty useful. I will admit though that what goes on behind closed doors is more often than not extremely dull. Seriously, is my life the only one that’s a constant musical when nobody’s watching?

People are often irritated when I tell them that I’m a figment of my imagination. They start to tear into me about how I shouldn’t joke about being something they’ve dreamt up on a whim. After I correct them by reminding them that I’m a figment of my imagination, not theirs, the irritation is often replaced by a sense of relief. Or confusion. Either works for me.

Not having to exist at a particular time is pretty nice as well. Although I generally choose to be sometimes it is to one’s advantage not to be on a temporary basis. It freaks people out I think. I’m not sure because my ability to perceive things while I don’t exist is pretty poor.

Speaking of not existing it’s something I have to be careful about. Dropping out of reality tends to cause the dropping of dishes. So if you ever see me concentrating really hard on nothing in particular, don’t worry about it.