Nothing looked odd at first whilst I was looking at myself in the mirror as I was brushing my teeth. But after I looked down to spit and looked back up it seemed that my hair was . . . Fuller? A little thicker . . . Maybe a bit longer? It was morning, maybe I’m tired, I dunno. I started a new temporary contract yesterday and couldn’t afford to be late so I didn’t think to much about it and went on my way.

As I was walking down the street my hat came off of my head. I picked it up off the ground and put it back on, noting that it appeared to be fitting a little more tightly than usual. Again, I assumed I was just tired and continued on to work.

Arriving at the office I could no longer shake off the odd feeling I had in my head. Having shown up a few minutes early I went to check things out in the bathroom. By this point my hair had already become shoulder length. Shoulder length and still excessively curly. Something was up. Way up.

Just as I realized that something was wrong my hair starting growing so fast that within seconds the tiny room was filled with hair. From there it only began to grow more quickly and thickly. Just as I was about to choke from lack of air/excess of hair the force of the hair made the room burst open. This in turn led to the destruction of the building and the vast amount of hair caused me to propel to the air. I continued to be moved upward by the increasing mass of hair below me until I entered space. As this point the planet was already off its orbit but since it was becoming covered in hair as well I assumed that pretty much meant the end of everything on Earth.

As I traveled in an unknown direction in space hair began to grow out of every part of my body. Different masses of hair attached themselves to different planets, moons and other assorted space matter. Somehow things were about to get worse. Worse as in all of the planets fought back by absorbing and retracting the hair at the same time. This in turn caused my body to be slowly ripped apart into thousands of little pieces.

Space is my home now, and hair is the only things I know. As my body is spread out throughout the universe I eventually black out from the pain. The last thing I saw was an asteroid made entirely out of hair coming straight for my forehead.

I wake up in a grassy field. And only the panda suit remains.