Seeing as how conventional methods of beating the heat doesn’t work very well for most people, I decided to challenge it directly.
First I tried some simple methods. I began by challenging the heat to a game of “Rock, Paper, Scissors”. Apparently sun beats all three. I tried various board, dice and card games but apparently the heat is just a giant cheaterface who never plays by the rules. Most of the time its strategy is “Do nothing except try to melt your shit and make you pass out”.
My next attempt involved trying to physical heat via acts of violence. I used all kinds of weapons but the heat was everywhere and penetrated everything. I had also learned that explosives only add to the threat instead of eliminating it. Go figure. Out of ideas I then resorted to defiance. I wore my entire wardrobe simultaneously as I took a jog over some flat, empty fields at around one in the afternoon without bringing any supplies and no route planned out.
I just got out of the hospital yesterday and am currently in the planning stages of my next move.