I can’t beat the heat, no matter what I try.

Seeing as how conventional methods of beating the heat doesn’t work very well for most people, I decided to challenge it directly.

First I tried some simple methods. I began by challenging the heat to a game of “Rock, Paper, Scissors”. Apparently sun beats all three. I tried various board, dice and card games but apparently the heat is just a giant cheaterface who never plays by the rules. Most of the time its strategy is “Do nothing except try to melt your shit and make you pass out”.

My next attempt involved trying to physical heat via acts of violence. I used all kinds of weapons but the heat was everywhere and penetrated everything. I had also learned that explosives only add to the threat instead of eliminating it. Go figure. Out of ideas I then resorted to defiance. I wore my entire wardrobe simultaneously as I took a jog over some flat, empty fields at around one in the afternoon without bringing any supplies and no route planned out.

I just got out of the hospital yesterday and am currently in the planning stages of my next move.

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3 responses to “I can’t beat the heat, no matter what I try.

  1. That sounds like something I had to do last weekend for a festival – danced all day, both days, in like 90 degree weather wearing like sweatpants and shirt (we had to, not my choice!) I got heat exhaustion on day one. Do you know that the brain is extremely violent when it’s scrambled by heat? XD

    • Violent? I just get even more super spacey and ramble-ly than usual during a heat stroke ha ha. But I never think to record it. >_>

      Glad you made it through the festival okay!

      • I was literally convinced I had horns, and I was going to bust anyone with them if they so much as tried to move me from the bus! I was spacey pre-violent. I survived though ^_^ Thanks!

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