So the most popular search result for this site aside from ‘poorly drawn bees’ . . .

 . . . Is drawn erotica! I’m excited. At this rate the term ‘drawn erotica’ will overtake ‘poorly drawn bees’ as the most popular search term for finding my site within a month or two.

Normal(ish) site update coming later this week. ❤

Some thoughts:

Just once I’d love to see a corporate entity be openly disgusted with failing to meet their goal for a charity drive. Imagine going on a bus and seeing an ad for a fast food company with a picture of some sad children and something along the lines of: “Whelp, we only raised $5,000 for ________ last year. What a waste of time and effort.”

I was walking around downtown one day while wondering how to advance my career as a foot model. My problem is that I wasn’t getting anywhere near enough exposure. So I took my shoes and socks off. Problem solved.

Someday I will die a heroic death to save someone. As she holds me in her arms, I will tell her “If you see my wife, tell her that I love her,” to which she will reply “It’s me, I’m right here.” “How convenient,” I will say as I breathe my last.

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We all know the song “Fly Me To The Moon,” right?

Just so we’re in the clear I love this song just like everyone else in the world (and not just because I was brainwashed to do so by Bayonetta). However, the whole romantic flight to space thing that has been mentioned many times in popular culture has left me more than a little puzzled.

Right off the bat there’s the attire you’ll both be wearing. Either you’ll be remaining within the spacecraft to have a more relaxed variety of clothing options in which case you’re just spending your trip inside (although the view out the window would be nice I guess) or you’ll be outside of the space craft and wearing space suits. I’ve honestly never been in a space suit but I have never seen a picture of a person wearing a spacesuit that has led me to thinking of anything particularly romantic. Aside from that bit of craziness in Final Fantasy VIII of course.

Then there’s space itself. Although the scenery would be extremely beautiful and two people could truly feel alone together, I feel like the latter would be a novelty that would wear off quickly. Realistically two people can only admire themselves with no interruption for so long before boredom would set in. A time that would be much, much shorter than the time it would take to get into space in the first place.

All in all it seems like an excursion would to space may be somewhat romantic if you could make the trip easily, but with that said if it became easy to travel to space then everyone would do it and it would take much of the power and intimacy of such a trip in the first place. Or maybe I’m just jaded.

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Ever meet a kid who comes up with better comebacks than you?

One time Marsh and I were on the bus when this guy asked a kid that he was taking care of (who couldn’t have been older than ten) what he was going to do about something he just said/did in a joking manner. The kid was like “Knock knock.”

“Who’s there?”

“NOT YOU!”

Man, I wish I was that cool as a kid.

The latest addition to my fridge.

The latest addition to my fridge.

A list of things that I can generally fit into:

– A variety of roles depending on the scene I need to act out.

– A variety of rolls depending on how large they’re baked.

– The chicken suit I’ll be wearing at my next job if anyone finds out these are the “notes” I’ve been taking during meetings.

– Something sexier if you’d like.

– The urge to write “Your mom” in all caps is very strong. Apparently I’m still 14 and this sort of thing is funny.

– Large freezers, but let’s not try this one out okay?

– Photos that taken from at least several feet away.

– Footwear in my size.

– Public ball pits, although nobody will let me.

– The confines of society. Well, long enough to excel at a job interview anyway.

I gotta fill up the rest of our fridge door. Hmmm . . .

I gotta fill up the rest of our fridge door. Hmmm . . .

“It’s not my fault!” A list of honest, practical excuses.

– A polar bear ate my seal of quality and my work has been shit ever since.

– My dog didn’t eat my papers, that’s stupid. But my dog did eat my cat and that left me too distraught to finish any of those forms.

– Lag. Even if it’s a real world physical activity blaming lag is always legit.

– I almost had a longer list, but apparently WordPress is about to be shut down by hackers.

"Quick, we need to get a bee up before the site potentially crashes." "But sir, all I have is someone else's movie receipt and a pen." "GOOD, YOU HAVE EXACTLY FOUR SECONDS!"

“Quick, we need to get a bee up before the site potentially crashes.” “But sir, all I have is someone else’s movie receipt and a pen.” “GOOD, YOU HAVE EXACTLY FOUR SECONDS!”

I was going to post about how much I despise potatoes.

However, I was informed that I no longer hate potatoes. And it’s kind of true! I will eat mashed potatoes when they’re soaked in like a million pounds of butter or gravy. I spent my high school/college years hyping up my hatred of potatoes.

I no longer know what to do with my life.

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Which is less helpful: Empty praise or baseless criticism?

Having seen more than my share of both in my time, I’ve recently started pondering the effects of those kinds of uninformed opinions and the effects they have on a person.

Empty praise is the result of good intentions, but as we all know good intentions by themselves rarely ever lead to anything that’s actually . . . Good. Being told that you have a talent that you don’t actually possess can cause you to waste your time pursuing something that you no interest or marketable talent in which could lead to a feeling of a life led running in the wrong direction. However, sometimes some arguably undeserved praise early on in the pursuit of your goal can give you the drive to keep going. Sometimes the key to success is simply being too stupid to know when to give up as the old saying goes.

Baseless criticism is extremely, extremely common. Just post your works onto any online forum made for people to judge works of your medium and you’ll learn the hard way within hours. If that doesn’t effect your self-esteem at least a little bit then you’re a stronger person than I. This sort of thing drives many people away from doing what they love. With that said though if absolutely nobody thinks you have a particular talent that you believe that you have . . . There’s a chance that they may be right.

Personally I pay more attention to my critics than those who praise me. Sure, part of it may be personal insecurities, but sometimes it’s just easier to sift through endless criticisms for something that’s well-written and informative than to ponder who’s praising me because they feel that they should for whatever reason,  y’know? Not that I don’t enjoy genuine praise of course!

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Some of the bees are actually bears! Ahhhhh!