Swiping like a fox.

So most of you have likely used a modern smart phone or tablet at some point and controlled something by swiping the screen. Although it can be a hindrance at times every once in a while you use an app or a game that utilizes the function well. Which got me wondering as to how excellent such a thing would be if it worked in the real world.

At first the only application of such an ability would be for fun. It’d be a blast to be able to do things that include running your finger across a tree to fling it aside and the like. One would also have to be extremely careful about using it or petting a cat could go in a very bad direction quite quickly.¬† With that said it could have some beneficial uses as well.

Walls would no longer be a problem as long as you pay attention to what you’re doing. Putting two fingers together, swiping both fingers outward and walking into a room would make for a quick entrance into anything. Just make sure to close your newly created door behind you. Household chores would be less tedious as well when you don’t have to actually exert any real effort.

Being able to shrink things by putting a finger on opposite corners and swiping inwards would be fantastic! You could order a huge poutine and shrink it down into a bite-sized heart attack as opposed to a full-sized one. On the flip side you could make food larger and solve world hunger with the reverse motion.

I wonder if there’s a super hero in print with such an ability yet . . .

***

Bradley of http://bwhartwork.com generously sent me a couple of pictures that his two children drew. For the record these are probably two of the better drawings I’ve put up on this site so far ha ha.

Thanks again Bradley, you and your children rock!

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What if my arms were actually rhinos?

What if I could meld my arms into things without hurting them? I’m thinking something like Axel from Twisted Metal but with animals instead of giant wheels. Axel is a character who’s basically fused into these giant tires with some other mechanical bits, as shown below.

What if I could have my arms fused into the side of a pair of rhinos? Oh man, the power!

I wonder how it would feel like to steer such large animals with my arms. Turning by turning one arm closer to my chest and one arm away from my chest would definitely be a rush the first few times. At first I’d be worried about running into things but given the size of the creatures I’m sure they’d hit things before I do. And unless it’s something large it probably wouldn’t bother them anywhere near as much as it would bother me.

Dude! Maybe flapping my arms would make them jump. That might very well be the very thing I now desire more than anything, even more so than an infinite supply of special Diet Pepsi and bacon that has no negative effect on my health. I’d find a¬†desolate place and just jump around while relishing the complete and utter destruction that I’d be causing.

Hmmmm, I just realized something. How would I ever traverse anything like stairs or anything that would require me to reach a higher point in the building? I mean, I could probably just punch some buildings down but that doesn’t give me a good view of the horizon and as an undesired sound effect it seems to kill people a lot.

Conclusion: I desire having rhinos for arms, but only some of the time. I feel the ability to go all “Animorphs” with each of my arms instead of my entire being would make for an excellent comic mini-series or OVA of some sort. Maybe I should starting writing and doing the art now!

I don’t think it works for bees though.