TERROR TERROR TERROR BOMB BOMB BOMB TERRORISM PARLIAMENT I HID THE BOMB IN THE HONEYPOT BY THE TREE.
THE KEY IS THIS MACARONI AND GLUE BEE A CO-CONSPIRATOR GAVE ME.
Tag Archives: blogging
I’m all over the internet!
Check it out!
I did an art stream!
Hey y’all!
I know it’s been awhile but I worked out how to do streams! If you wanna give me a follow it’s at twitch.tv/sirselah. I uploaded my first one to YouTube. The audio is a bit off but here you go!
I can’t beat the heat, no matter what I try.
Seeing as how conventional methods of beating the heat doesn’t work very well for most people, I decided to challenge it directly.
First I tried some simple methods. I began by challenging the heat to a game of “Rock, Paper, Scissors”. Apparently sun beats all three. I tried various board, dice and card games but apparently the heat is just a giant cheaterface who never plays by the rules. Most of the time its strategy is “Do nothing except try to melt your shit and make you pass out”.
My next attempt involved trying to physical heat via acts of violence. I used all kinds of weapons but the heat was everywhere and penetrated everything. I had also learned that explosives only add to the threat instead of eliminating it. Go figure. Out of ideas I then resorted to defiance. I wore my entire wardrobe simultaneously as I took a jog over some flat, empty fields at around one in the afternoon without bringing any supplies and no route planned out.
I just got out of the hospital yesterday and am currently in the planning stages of my next move.
So the most popular search result for this site aside from ‘poorly drawn bees’ . . .
. . . Is drawn erotica! I’m excited. At this rate the term ‘drawn erotica’ will overtake ‘poorly drawn bees’ as the most popular search term for finding my site within a month or two.
Normal(ish) site update coming later this week. ❤
Ever meet a kid who comes up with better comebacks than you?
One time Marsh and I were on the bus when this guy asked a kid that he was taking care of (who couldn’t have been older than ten) what he was going to do about something he just said/did in a joking manner. The kid was like “Knock knock.”
“Who’s there?”
“NOT YOU!”
Man, I wish I was that cool as a kid.
The latest addition to my fridge.
The power of a shower.
I’ve always been somewhat amused that one of the things people generally do after being drenched during a downpour from a mixture of water from the rain and moisture from sweat is to go home and take a shower in more water. I mean, I understand why that’s necessary and all. I’m just amused.
Whelp, that’s all I had to say on that. I went to dailypost.wordpress.com and found this gem for today:
Beach, mountain, forest, or somewhere else entirely?”
Is . . . I don’t even understand if that’s a question? Although if I was to spend an extensive amount of time traveling in any of those environments I guess I would need a shower afterwards.
You know what? I’m not done talking about showers yet.
I know I’ve touched on the misfortune of having frightening thoughts about spiders and stuff while you’re washing your face and you can’t open your eyes because you’ll get soap/shampoo in them so you’re just stuck with those thoughts for several seconds but . . . There are good thoughts that happen in the shower as well. The shower is the one place in the world that’s still internet/smartphone free, so it’s the one place in the world that everyone can just take a few minutes and have a thought. Or two on a good day. So until I get a waterproof cover for my phone I guess that’ll always be the best place for ideas.
Maybe I should’ve tried to write something after a shower because I clearly don’t have any clue on what I should be writing about right now.
My good friend Real drew this for me! Thanks man!
So I decided to try writing about the daily post today.
On dailypost.wordpress.com there’s a daily topic to write about. So here’s today’s: “A genie has granted your wish to build your perfect space for reading and writing. What’s it like?”
I know it can be hard to come up with something unique to write about every day, but jeez.
Assuming I was given a limited number of wishes why would I waste one on a space for reading and writing? Even if I wanted something like that I could wish for a more general, quiet place with a section for reading and writing like a grand garden in the sky or whatever. But even then I’m sure there are a list of things I’d wish for before that. Like some sort of superpower or infinite cash (Then I could just buy the perfect space!), etc.
Then there’s the value of a perfect space for reading and writing. I won’t question that for a small percentage of the population micromanaging one’s space for such activities helps to absorb information and encourages creativity, but for most people wouldn’t something as simple as a spare room do the trick just fine? Hell, I do most of my favourite writing on post-it notes before typing it up. Not that I have any place to tell people anything about writing.
I dunno, I just feel that with all that goes on in the world one would be able to craft good questions that are more universally relatable.
A list of things that blew my small-village mind.
So recently I mentioned how I grew up in a small fishing village and moved to a city right after high school. After over seven years I’ve adjusted fairly well but every once in a while something still blows my mind. Over the years I was all like “Woah” when:
– I found out that bus monitors are a thing. People get paid to supervise children on school buses? I thought the driver was supposed the supervisor as well ha ha.
– On that note, some schools have an in-house police officer!? Dude. When I was in high school it was a huge deal when someone got busted for having weed in their locker that one time.
– So I was living with a couple friends a couple years ago and as I was walking down the hallway to our 8th floor apartment, it hit me. This single building has a larger population than my hometown.
– Wait, jaywalking laws are actually enforced? Huh.
– OH MAN THERE’S MORE THAN TWO PIZZA PLACES/BARS/ANYTHING WHAT IS THIS?
– Not everybody sits around a campfire every weekend and drinks while talking about some other time they were sitting around a campfire while drinking. Neat.
– Seeing three Tim Horton’s on the same street within a city block of each other. I’d love to have a business so successful that I can open that many stores so close together with all of them being profitable.
So here’s my “First day on the internet story.”. After a couple years on the internet admittedly.
Growing up in a small fishing village with limited internet access, I hadn’t even really seen the internet until I started going to the library at the age of 14 at the next town over. Parental attitudes toward the whole internet thing led to our home not having any internet access until I was . . . 16? Almost 17? Point is, I didn’t grow up in any sort of online culture. As a side note the e-mail address on the right portion of this site is my very first e-mail address. Seriously, as a 25 year-old I assure you I didn’t come up with that recently ha ha.
Fast forwarding to about a couple years later I move to the Halifax region (The biggest ‘urban’ area in Nova Scotia.) to start college. With my student loan I bought my first laptop and signed up for my own internet connection. Unfiltered usage of the internet without any supervision!? It blew my small town mind! So many “artistic films” about “love” to be seen!
When I wasn’t busy boosting local Kleenex® sales (Brand is important here!) I was playing this shitty little online game called U-Dominion. It was basically a cheap MMORPG that was entirely about moving a little guy around a grid of squares, fighting enemies entirely with auto-battle and grinding out levels so you can continue doing this on different grids. The game itself was even more of a grindfest than most games in the genre but it had an always-on global chat. I’m pretty sure most people came to view it as a chat room with a simple game rather than the other way around.
Eventually I start talking to this one particular person in-game and she ask for my MSN (RIP MSN.). After adding her she starts to tell me a sob story about how shitty her life is in Russia. She seemed to require constant consolation but I was naive and felt like playing the hero so I went along with it. She (or even he, I’ll never know) eventually sent me some pictures of some Russian model and claimed it was her. Even then I knew that wasn’t the case but I felt pity that (s)he would have to lie like that for a self-esteem boost instead of suspecting that something was up.
Eventually out of the blue one day this person started going on about how they wanted to hurt him(her)self and craved physical attention. I almost, almost followed along but then stopped and thought about it for a minute. Having a sudden realization I ask if she was turned on by the thought of someone rescuing her from various crises. (S)he confirmed that was the case. Whelp, I hadn’t encountered anything like that before, and my 18 year old small village mind was blown yet again. After stating that I didn’t want anything more to do with this and that I was never talking to this person again I got all sorts of death/hacking threats.
And that’s when I learned (Surprisingly fast given my upbringing.) that I should never, ever trust anything on the Internet.
tl;dr: Stop sharing crazy factoids on Facebook without at least checking Snopes first. People lie on the internet for fun.
And now I use the internet as an excuse to draw bees on things.
Poorly Drawn Bees 