My internet was acting up. But thankfully I had an answer!

So I’m trying to play some Tekken online with some friends the other night but my PS3 was all like “I ain’t reading your cable buddy-guy!” to which I responded “Why not and since when could you talk?”. Turns out it didn’t feel like having anything plugged into it that night so I had to play wireless but Tekken Tag Tournment 2 has slick netcode so nobody was any the wiser.

Then the next day I tried to play some Street Fighter X Tekken online because the big patch is here and I have to pretend I didn’t openly despise the game all this time for at least a couple months. My PS3 finally consented to taking the cord, but the experience was . . . Jarring to say the least. The visuals would show a hit that was actually a block, people were randomly teleporting halfway across the screen instead of jumping . . . I don’t what game this was but it wasn’t the one I signed up for!

So I hit up Skype and talked to buddy I was playing online with the other night about how I should make amends to my internet. He suggested poetry and flowers.

. . . Genius!

It took me a week to make the arrangements but I knew it would be worth it. Then the time came on a quiet Friday evening. After laying a bouquet of several dozen roses onto the modem I brought in a local barbershop quartet to sing this poem:

“Oh baby/
You’re so fine.
Now please let me/
Go online!”

Just in case that wasn’t classy enough, I also paid them to sing this haiku:

“Oh you, internet.
Please, please, please, please, please, please, please
Work for me now? Please?”

My significant other questioned how I could afford all of this, especially since I told her I was too broke to do much for Valentine’s Day. To which I told her that maybe I would pay more attention to her if she did stuff like this:

(Don’t read too much into that one, okay?)

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I’d give credit, but she put her name and the inspiration right there! Plus one for my laziness!
But seriously, thanks Ting Ting, you rock! :3

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Around the clock.

I just noticed that it’s one and my work is almost done.

I stuck around until two and then from the office I flew.

At quarter to three I was still running with glee.

When the clock hit four I ran into my front door.

Relaxed until five and I started getting ready to jive.

Just before I left at six I got my Counter-Strike fix.

I left my place at seven feeling like I’m in heaven.

Got there just before eight, but then I had to wait.

She showed up at nine, and she was lookin’ fine!

We hit the floor at ten, I saw the jealously in all the other men.

Well past eleven and I still felt like I did at seven.

Once the time was twelve . . . I realized that delve and shelve wouldn’t work and I can’t think of anything that would fit so that would mean that this post is stupid and whatever.

What are you all up to this weekend?