So I’m there in a meeting, and as I drifted off into a daydream like the model employee that I am . . . I noticed that the only thing I could think of was the value of different objects in the room. Not in their current state but rather wondering what I could fetch for various metals in the room by melting down the projector and the like. This turned out to be a rather fruitless endeavor since I’ve never taken anything other than bottles to a recycling depot and as such had absolutely idea how much various metals are even worth, or if they’re even worth anything at all.

Apparently toast sandwiches are a big thing in Europe? Lemme explain: You take a piece of bread. Toast it, flavor it up on both sides with whatever (I like garlic butter) and put it in between two uncooked pieces of bread. Then you eat it. The textures give off the illusion that you’re eating something that’s more complex than three pieces of bread.

That is amazing and I would gladly risk my father’s left testicle to become the first person to have thought of this. I know that doesn’t sound like a sacrifice on my end but if that was to be applied retroactively that’s a fifty percent chance that I would permanently erase myself from time.

Yes, I would flip that coin to have invented the best poor person meal ever.