Just so you know, I’m totally going to die in the bathroom. Calling it now.

I’m going to start by saying it’s not going to be from slipping on the floor or something embarrassing like that. No. This will be a bathroom death for the ages. The kind that will be remembered in song long after this era is gone.

I’ll just be sitting there doing my thing while the ceiling begins to ooze high-fructose corn syrup. You think I’d be ready for what would happen next since I had an incident at work just last year that literally started the same way. But no, I still won’t see this coming. Even though I’m telling you about this now I still won’t see it coming. I guess my foresight isn’t 20/20 like hindsight. As the ooze takes an androgynous human form, it’ll invite me for another ride into the sky. I will refuse for I’m not entirely sure that it’s not trying to kill me.

Will I die in an epic battle? No, not quite. Life is rarely that exciting, and death even more rarely so.

Actually, you know what? No spoilers.

A fashionable bee drawn by Sophie. Thanks again!

A fashionable bee drawn by Sophie. Thanks again!

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Thinking about death in an illogical manner.

Although it’s a waste of time due to the lack of sensory functions after death, it’s hard not to image what death would be like.

I often try to think of flying forward in an infinite space for an infinite amount of time. But in doing so I try to imagine moving infinitely faster to cover more ground to try to get to the end of the infinite space. In doing so for some reason my view of myself always ‘zooms out’ further and further away as if that somehow helps me any. My reasoning for this train of thought is that it’s influenced by the statement ‘moving forward in time’ and this is an attempt to see how the rest of time will play out in my non-existent mind.

Will there be a point where my brain will be alive while the rest of my body is functionally dead, even if only for a second? What will that feel like? Would I make a futile attempt to move my limbs? In doing so would they feel impossibly heavy or would there be a different mental response?

Waking up in a casket is a huge fear of mine. Reasonably so I feel. One time I woke up with my limbs all restrained due to a medical procedure I just had and I panicked so hard I threw up all over the place.

So yeah. Regarding the spiritual-religious people out there you have your beliefs about death. But for the non-believers . . . Do you still spend time thinking about how death will feel without actually believing what you think?