I’ve been unemployed for five hours and I’m already bored enough to make a list of the games I beat for the first time in 2012.

As inspired by http://kotaku.com/numbers/

PC

Bastion
Left 4 Dead
Dinner Date
Noitu Love 2: Devolution
Penny Arcade’s On the Rain-Slick Precipice of Darkness: Episode 3
Dear Esther

360

DOOM (Original 3 episodes)
The Club
Radiant Silvergun
Gwange
Raiden IV
Raiden Fighter Aces
KoF Sky Stage

Wii

Xenoblade Chronicles

PS3

50 Cent: Blood on the Sand
Prince of Persia: Forgotten Sands
Dead to Rights: Retribution
Tekken Tag Tournament 2 (Platinum Trophy)
King of Fighters XIII (Platinum Trophy)
Call of Duty: Black Ops (The first one [Oh Dog, why?])
Sonic Generations
Section 8
Medal of Honor (2010)
Stacking
Borderlands
Ace Combat: Assault Horizon
The Simpsons Arcade Game
Sonic CD
Earthworm Jim HD

3DS

Super Mario Land 3D
Star Fox 64 3D
Dead or Alive: Dimensions (Story mode)
Mighty Switch Force

DS

Golden Sun: Dark Dawn

Vita:

Lumines Supernova (Depending on definition of finishing)
Playstation All-Stars Battle Royal (Platinum Trophy)
Mortal Kombat 9 (Story mode)
Rayman Origins
Really Big Sky Infinity (Again, depending on definition)

PSP

Mimana Iya Chronicle
Gitaroo Man Lives!

Android

Age of Zombies
Caligo Chaser
Cytus

Total: 43

That’s not even one a week ha ha. I must try harder!

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My Pokemon story.

Even as I sat on the bus en route to his place the phone call still repeated itself constantly in my mind. It was a short call that consisted entirely of him calling me and stating that he had a real life Farfetch’d that I should come over to his house to see before he hung up. Had he finally gone mad? I think that was the thing I was most curious about.

I guess his story was a bit . . . Farfetch'd. Because nobody has ever made that joke before.

I guess his story was a bit . . . Farfetch’d. Because nobody has ever made that joke before.

Exiting the bus and making my way up the sidewalk he burst out of his front door with the excitement of a small child who had just gotten a video game system for Christmas despite the fact that his parents really couldn’t afford it. As he told me that he had been awaiting this day for his entire life my friend led me upstairs to his bedroom.

What awaited me was . . . Unexpected. A dead Mallard duck was propped up against a bookend with a leek shoved in its beak. After taking what must have been at least a solid minute or so I looked at this man whom I considered a friend and consciously blinked several times in an attempt to request an explanation without having to go through the awkwardness of actually asking.

“Isn’t it awesome!? I just found her lying on the side of the river by the elementary school just past the strip mall. Her name is Jet Leek. She’s too proud to live in a Poké Ball as you can see.”

Looking back at the duck it was then that I finally became aware of the smell. Thinking carefully about how to point out the obvious in a tactful manner I gave up and blatantly stated “I think it’s rotting dude.”.

“Nah, I haven’t had a chance to get her in the bath yet.”

At this point I had completely nothing. Nothing. Out of politeness and value for our friendship I congratulated him on his find and made up an excuse about running late for something. On the bus heading home I kept trying to process what had just happened. After a while I started to wonder why I was surprised.

After all, that’s like the fourth time he’s done that this year.

Someone bought this for me recently. This is my weapon for the zombie apocalypse.

Someone bought this for me recently. This is my weapon for the zombie apocalypse.

I assure you this blog is still going strong!

I just got hit by writer’s block. This is rather odd, for there are many people who would claim that I not a writer by any meaning of the word. Then again those same people also compare me to a monkey with a typewriter. I know they’re wrong because I’m clearly using a computer and I haven’t thrown my poop at anybody in years (Months?).

Noting that the block was larger than a doorframe and not being able to recall anything regarding writer’s block destroying someone’s home I simply went back inside.

Whelp, I’m glad I got that over with.

Still lacking an idea for a story I drank two doses of Neo-Citran and nodded off. That stuff can give you some pretty messed up dreams. Unfortunately that night I just dreamt about a lot of split pea soup. Geysers and oceans of split pea soup. Interesting and all, but where could I run with that idea?

The next morning I sat down at my computer with hot chocolate in hand. That’s when it hit me. Writer’s block is a thing that exists entirely in my own head. Whatever I ran into outside yesterday couldn’t have been writer’s block. It was probably another building or something to that effect.

After taking a drill to my skull and letting the obstructive thoughts out, I’m glad to say that it worked and I’m working on some stories as of this writing. It is my hope that this explanation will satisfy your curiosity as to the slower rate of updates as of late.

Until then, love yourself and the world will follow suit. ❤

***
Oh shit, it’s a picture of me sponsoring myself at a Tekken tournament!

I’m going to be so tired after this week ha ha.

So this week is the Halifax Pop Explosion. Starting tomorrow I’m going to be hitting up various places downtown and staying out stupid late for five nights straight. Even though I don’t drink (usually) I’m 25 going 0n 60 and I only have one day off after to sleep in before I start a new temp day job on Monday. That’s going to be like a four coffee day.

Last night I finished Xenoblade Chronicles. It’s kind of an amazing game. I was going to start The Last Story but decided I should probably play something stupid first as a gaming wind-down of sorts. After finding a cheap copy I decided on 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand.

Gameplay-wise it’s actually pretty decent. But man is the story ever terrible. Terrible in the most brilliant way. I’m a third of the way through it and I still don’t understand exactly what they’re trying to convey here. Ever see something that . . . It’s like you don’t understand it, but it’s not over your head? Is it possible for something to actually be under your level of comprehension? Also, his music plays in the background at all times. This is the most rap I’ve listened to since junior high. I imagine that’s still the demographic for modern rap.

From the game’s article on Wikipedia: “Charlie Brooker mocked the game’s perceived infantile pretense of maturity on the BBC program Gameswipe. “The game’s so desperate to appear grown-up it ends up looking downright ridiculous, like an adolescent straining to grow a whispery little moustache and bragging about how many girls he’s fingered.” ”

Yep.

***

Nathan from Newfoundland sent me this one. I’m going to go out on a limb here and assume this wasn’t hand-drawn. Thanks Nathan!

My (completely true) Fallout 3 story.

For the people out there who aren’t all up in the whole modern gaming thing, Fallout 3 is a game that takes place after World War III. It’s played in the first person perspective (Meaning the point of view is from the character’s eyes.) and features a lot of traveling around by foot. Although you’re given details on what you’re supposed to do to advance the story you’re also free to just roam around, explore old buildings, scavenge stuff, fight weird radioactive things and meet random people as you please. So with that said . . .

So I’m wandering around the former town of Grayditch this one time a couple years ago. Grayditch is a rundown town that is completely covered in mutated ants, some of which breath fire and are the size of a large man.

I slowly made my way though all of the buildings I could find above ground, sweeping the area completely and killing all of the ants along the way. After finishing this I made my way to the entrance of a tunnel that led underground. I figured that the queen’s nest was down there and I wanted to gather whatever information I could regarding the source of these ants.

The tunnel proved to be a slow crawl. As expected there were many, many large ants in my way. After fighting my way for what must’ve been at least an hour (Hour and a half?) or so when accounting for both the above ground and underground portions I came across . . . A metallic door? How perfectly odd.

Approaching the door it suddenly opened itself as I was a mere two or three steps away. They haven’t learned how to open doors on their own, have they? But this was no ant. This was an ordinary human being. A scientist of average height and build greeted me. The fact that the door opened so suddenly and the fact that the man was so drastically different from anything I had seen for hours scared me.

It scared me to the point that I threw the controller onto the floor and screamed as loud as I could.

Apparently this is the most terrifying creature in the ENTIRE HISTORY OF THE UNIVERSE!

I was living with a couple of friends at the time. One of them was already in the living room and was wondering what was so scary about this man/how potentially insane I must be. The other ran out of his room, asking if I was okay. To this I responded by pointing my finger at the television and yelling:

“A MAN JUST WALKED OUT THAT DOOOOOOOOOR!”

It’s been said that I’m an extremely high-strung person.

The best video game dialogue ever. EVER!

So today I found some capture equipment at a thrift store for 25 bucks. Here’s a quick test video I made.

I’m excited, I can make gaming videos now! I’m a little short on time, but here’s some concept art for something I’m working on: