Man, time to become a hack writer. Here are some terrible child-friendly bee jokes!

– A bee can only count to fifteen. I can count up to 30 though.

– Do bees in a hurry travel in a zip line?

Man, forget it. I’m so sorry ha ha. Here’s something I drew at work not knowing it was Pride Week in Halifax. Happy Pride Week Halifax!


Dinner is my Kraft.‏

The water begins to boil as the night wind howls silently in the night . . .

It is time.

I carefully tear off the top flaps on the box. Removing the pouch of delicious I pour the rest of the contents into the pot, savouring the sound of the noodles scraping the box on the way out. Tossing the box into my box of boxes to be recycled, I grab my plastic mixing spoon and prepare myself.

It is only seconds before I start briskly stirring. Every few seconds I give the water a whirl with the spoon. There’s nothing worse than having noodles stuck to the bottom of the pot. It is something I always endeavor to avoid with the utmost urgency. After several minutes it is time for the test.

Using my spoon to dig out several noodles I use a fork to pick one out and eat it. Still too tough. I repeat this process every ten seconds or so until the consistency is absolutely perfect. Placing my utensils on the counter I grab a strainer and hastily drain the water, making sure to bang the pot against the strainer repeatedly to get everything out.

Pouring the noodles back into the pot while noting the slopping noise it makes, I use my mixing spoon to carve out a small sliver of margarine from the open container and mix it in with my food. Forgoing the milk I open the cheese pouch of destiny and mix it in as well. Using a lesser quantity of ingredients requires much more effort to mix the the cheese in fully but by the hair of the dog is it ever worth it.

Stirring for a full minute or so turns the entire pot into a healthy colour of orange. This is what life is about right here. I get my favourite bowl to pour it in. Having a bowl that’s not very deep and almost resembles a deep dish is very important. I throw the pot into the sink and fill it with water to let it soak. Then I take the bowl over to my computer table along with the fork, sit down and take the first bite.

This is going to be a good day people.