How did I get a whiff of body odor off of that SUV that drove by?‏

The rest of the morning that was all I could think about. How did I confuse the smell of vehicle exhaust with that of human sweat?

After a couple hours of sitting at my desk I finally noticed something was off. Where was this faint smell of wet grass coming from? Moving my head around slowly whilst sniffing led me to notice that it was coming from my monitor? That’s just weird.

Do my hands smell funny? That is always on my mind even at the best of times. I looked around to make sure nobody would notice because I’m sure sniffing my monitor didn’t already make me look weird, and I held my hands over my mouth and nose as I took a huge huff of the . . . What was that smell? I hadn’t smelled anything like that since I used to live down the road from a pig farm.

I ran to the bathroom to wash my hands, wondering all the while why the hallways smelled like the open highway. I slammed my body through the door and ran the water on it’s hottest temperature. As I noticed the water smelled like burnt rubber I realized that for some reason my brain was registering random smells that didn’t match what I was actually smelling. Soaping my hands up with soap that smelled like a shaggy carpet that was just vacuumed caused me to break.

I shut off the lights and retreated to a bathroom stall while crying. This dark space is my home now, and constant olfactory torture is the only thing I know. The last thing I smelled before I passed out from my frenzied stupor is the smell of an asteroid breaking through the ozone layer.

I wake up in a grassy field. And only the panda suit remains.


This excellent piece was made by all around awesome super-mom Laura! She also has a great blog that she needs to update more about her weight-loss journey. Go encourage her to do that here!