New Year’s Resolutions. How did they become a thing?

As many of us curse ourselves for continuing to write down ‘2012’ on various forms for the next few weeks many more of us will break promises that we have made to ourselves in wake of the new year. Personally I’m going to dread going to the gym since the next six weeks is pretty much the worst time to go ever if you’re already a regular. But I digress.

Then there are those who feel that the concept of New Year’s Resolutions are silly. Why pick that particular time to plan a life change? Shouldn’t you try to improve yourself year-round? Until earlier today I was in that mindset myself.

But then I thought about the things I would like to change in my life. I thought about how I spend too much time on Reddit/other pointless timekillers and less time doing things like socializing or even finishing my massive back log of games/books/albums I’ve yet to listen to. That led into me thinking about how I could probably be a better significant other at times, and from there I started to think about things I could change about myself.

In the shower just now it hit me. New Year’s Resolutions are important because it’s a reminder to sit down and think about our problems rationally and come up with solutions. Even if we generally fail at said solutions many people wouldn’t even attempt them had they not been forced to think about what it is they would want to change in the first place. I felt a little stupid because this way of thinking is exactly the type of thing I was taught is extremely important when I was in therapy for my Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and as such I feel like I should’ve figured this out long, long ago.

So with that said I’m going to attempt to get off the temp train this year (For those who aren’t in the know, I’ve been working a variety of temporary jobs for quite awhile now), try to be more proactive with my hobbies (And spend less time looking at badly captioned photos and live streams of games I don’t even care about [Except for you Jay, there’s always time to hassle you ha ha]), put some effort into making bees interesting again (Instead of copping out and using MS Paint all the time) and stop telling my girlfriend that she’s a poopface all the time.

Or at least do it less frequently. ❤

Speaking of her, she went out last night but left me this little note. She’s kind of the best.

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If my body is a temple then I’m a terrible God.

Seriously. I just ate a reheated taco, two chocolate swiss rolls and half a thing of extra fatty vanilla egg nog for no reason. My right eyelid is twitching. I’m not sure that’s a good thing. Apparently such food will clog your arteries and stuff? That’s taking room away from all of my (potential) worshipers!

Or maybe the body is a temple that is meant to be observed and worshiped externally. That’s weird. I mean, I’m not super unattractive or anything but I’m no . . . Uh . . . Van Diesel or anything. I also have a moderate amount of body hair and my girlfriend tells me it looks like I have a hair backpack.

The idea of my body being a temple is also foreign to me. For one, I don’t believe in any sort of theistic beliefs. Regarding the more non-theistic belief systems . . . I don’t feel like I’m wise enough to be comfortable knowing that somebody is devoting their willpower to my teachings. Frig, I spend my spare time drawing bees in MS Paint!

I suppose I could take the statement at its intended (modern) meaning. The specific wording is still a bit off to me though. With regards to an actual temple the person who owns the building doesn’t really expend any more effort into its upkeep than the owner of any other high-class building. The devotees of a temple may help financially but that doesn’t really seem to apply when a person starts taking care of their own body. Unless people wanna donate money to get me healthy? I know I’d eat much better if I was given free healthy/tasty food all the time, and I wouldn’t mind having my gym membership paid for by others as well.

In the end, I should probably stop worrying about the inaccuracies of old analogies and hit up the gym or something.

Minimalism!

Hey baby, is that a mirror in your pants? That’s kind of narcissistic isn’t it?‏

Have you ever done that thing where you go to pull a door handle but you miss with your hand and wind up stumbling backwards instead? It’s fun having to explain to other people in the bathroom that I’m not drunk.

I want to create an animal with the heart of a lion, the spirit of a lion, and the body of a lion . . . Come to think of it, I kind of want a pet lion I guess.

Beatnik is a word that I haven’t seen/heard in a long time. Maybe it’s due for a comeback?

So what are you all up to this weekend?

If I removed my own brain that’d be rather thoughtless of me now wouldn’t it?

All this talk about uploading one’s consciousnesses to a computer/robot has me thinking about the consequences of such an action.

If the sum of all our thoughts and experiences were put into a machine it would likely be one that could not feel any sort of physical feeling, right? Or at least one that could not feel pain? But if our memories were stored as well then how would that affect memories of things that involved pain? Would they still be perceived in the same way or would the lack of ability to feel such pain affect our ability to recall those memories? I figure memories wouldn’t degrade in such a scenario since there’s a digital backup of them instead of relying on our organic brains that are subject to various forms of decay.

When it comes to forming new memories would the new method of being able to interact with things physically in turn alter our memories that involved similar activities in the past? I suppose an easy way to answer this question would be to ask somebody who has experienced a physical disability later in their life. I’m not sure how I would go about that though.

Speaking of uploading one’s thoughts I was reminded at work yesterday that Twitter is a thing. I should take another look at that site and see what that’s all about.

***

A friend of mine sent me this without context. I can only assume it’s a trashed prop or something? Thanks all the same Ian!

I should start a band.

Actually, I tried to start a two-man act with a friend of mine (Let’s call him DJ Sven again because he still be spinning like mad yo.) a couple of years ago. It was going to be called Anger Cake and our band logo would have a cake being smashed with a hammer. It was pretty friggin’ awesome. The only thing that got in our way and the very thing that destroyed our endeavor was the fact that we had absolutely no ideas about anything whatsoever beyond those two things.

I need to start over beginning with a new name. Using Anger Cake wouldn’t be cool since that was something I was supposed to start with somebody else. I’m thinking something along the lines of Birthday Box for now, but I’ll dwell on that for a bit.

Now I need to pick a genre of music. I don’t really have any talents with an instrument, but I hear that ‘spoken word’ is a genre? Basically someone loudly tells a story while someone else plays music. Not really singing per say, but I feel it’s something I could do with some practice.  As for the background music I’ll need something that will stand out. Nobody’s really made it big with an accordion player in their band recently have they?

As for subject manner I need to pick something agreeable that hasn’t already been covered a million times already. Social/political commentary is overdone, hot-button issues will drive people away and I have to avoid being too preachy. So I guess I’ll have to use my spoken word music to raise awareness of the dangers of carnivorous jellybeans and the like.

Anybody wanna sign up to be my accordion player? I can’t promise that I’ll be able to pay you anything but we’ll have a hell of a journey at least.

Man, it’s been a weird week with my girlfriend halfway across the country.

Like, the first couple days the place was overrun by hamsters.

They were everywhere. The floor was practically made out of them at one point. When I was leaving for work one day they covered my upper body and I wound up having to go through my day with a living, furry hamster hoodie.

In an attempt to engage them in conversation I decided to talk to them about their existence. I looked at one in the eye and said “Before we get started, I just wanted to you let you know that I’m not here to discuss me being real but you being aware.”  It worked. Not only were they confused, but hamsters tend to have trouble when it comes to becoming aware of their existence. They all disappeared with a gentle splash of Febreze being released into the air. That didn’t make me stop wanting to be a hamster on some level, but I had to move on.

After that I had to deal with a severe lack of things to carry other things with. I couldn’t find a bag for the life of me. The grocery store didn’t have any either (At least any they were willing to give away.). So I had to carry my lunches for the entire week entirely by hand. Carrying three thousand Snickers Bars around each day by hand is pretty tough.

Hopefully when she comes home tomorrow everything will be all sorted out by then. I do keep finding drumsticks in the most odd of places though. We don’t even play any musical instruments . . .

Let’s get personal, shall we?

In junior high I used to eat various school supplies including glue, rubber erasers, paper and at one point an entire plastic ruler. Granted, the latter took me a month or so but I did it!

I go out of my way to make sure that the stapler/staple remover I’m using is a Swingline product. It’s generally the only time I go out of my way to note the brand of something.

I feel better when I have some sort of weight on my left arm. I used to have a denim jacket (Which might’ve actually been a shirt?) that had the left arm covered in buttons. I liked the way it felt. Usually I settle for a watch along with (when I’m not losing them) a ring.

After years of temporary office work in various places, I’ve come to the following conclusion: If you’ve been temping at a place so long that they give you a name plate without actually hiring you, it’s time to leave.

I start mosh pits while folk bands are performing. It’s an art.

The name of this site is one hundred percent based on something I came up with on the fly for the sole purpose of stopping multiple arguments on a fighting game Facebook group over the past couple of years. When something looked like it was getting out of hand I would attempt to confuse everyone involved by posting pictures of poorly drawn bees until they were too distracted to continue. As for the drawings on this site . . . Blogs look nicer with pictures and this blog’s name kind of already insinuated a theme so I just ran with it.

I do this constantly: http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/post_office_showdown.png

Oh, how did I almost forget this last bit? Due to an open heart surgery I had when I was sixteen (I was born with aortic stenosis.) one of my valves was replaced with a a valve created from the lining of a cow’s heart. Therefore I am technically part cow.

The life I dream of.‏

I sit in this chair,
Thinking about how life isn’t fair.
If only I could drop everything,
And travel without a dare.

To simply travel with the flow,
How I would love to make it so.
I’m envious of the people,
Who can just drop everything and go.

. . . Ugh, I can’t write anymore of this garbage. I’ve read this story too many times to count. If you’re stuck in a rut take up a hobby or something. And before you say it’s a waste of time clearly it can’t be any less of a time-waster than what you’re doing now or else you wouldn’t be complaining about being in a rut to begin with.

Let’s talk about music for a moment.

My favourite album from the past month is easily ‘Vichada’ by Kashka. But then again I’m arguably in love with the lead singer, Forest City Lovers (Kat’s former project) is my favourite band, I’ve recently gotten into synth pop in the last year and I’m generally easily persuaded by any woman who can belt out a decent tune so I’m pretty bias on the matter. Have a listen anyway: http://kashka.bandcamp.com/

I bought the cassette and just got it the other day along with this postcard. Whenever anybofy asks me why I’m a fan of Kat Burns at any point in the future I’ll just point them to this:

I love music. I love having a 5500+ song collection that’s 99.9 percent legally owned. I don’t have the patience to create any of my own however. I generally pick up an instrument, learn how to play something that’s like 20 notes long and drop it after spending a total of an hour or so, never to touch it again.

I don’t believe I’m really going anywhere with this. So here’s a .swf of Colin Mochrie dancing and a picture of a bee on the beach: http://internet.thoughtdump.net/DancingColin.swf

At some point I will finance an action film on the condition that it contains all of the following one-liners.

The entire film will be nothing but shoot-outs and epic fights, each ending with a line from the following.

“Ever play the game of Life? Turns out you can lose after all.”

“Welcome to the gun show. No, really. This isn’t about me flexing. This is about me shooting you. With my guns.”

“You’re about to get fingered buddy. Right in the brain.”

“Have you ever wanted to be see-through? Now’s your chance!”

“Are you curious about what’s at the bottom of that canyon? Lemme send you down to have a nice, permanent peek at it.”

“What did the five fingers say to the face? Actually, forget that stale line. My fists would like to  have a deep conversation with your entire body. The conversation will be of such depth you should to refer to them as Socrates and Plato.”

“I’d beat you senseless, but what’s the joy in taking away your ability to feel the fury of my attack?”

“Look over there, it’s a bear! Ha ha, just kidding. A bear ain’t got shit on me.”

“Consider this next attack to be a formal invite to your funeral.”

“Have you ever pondered the meaning of life? You better figure it out quick, yours only has about another fifteen seconds left.”