Tag Archives: list

A partial list of things that I can realistically suplex: Part 4.‏

Posted by Poorly Drawn Bees on

– A sack of coffee to start off the day.

– A beehive that is completely devoid of bees.

– A short person with a beehive hair style.

– An assault rifle, preferably unloaded with the safety on.

– Freshly cut wheat.

– GOATS, ESPECIALLY THE SIMULATED KIND!

– The competition! As long as I’m competing against children. I can beat children in anything except being short and smelly.

– I could suplex Jet Li. Or at least the life-sized cutout that my ladyface owns.

– Nerds. Boxes and boxes of nerds.

– The knowledge of the world contained in SSD drives.

DSC_0294

As per Ari, thanks Ari!

Everyday errands.

Posted by Poorly Drawn Bees on

I went to town/
I had a frown.
But I never expected/
That I would drown.

But there I went/
As reality bent.
Out of a small garage/
Many tonnes of water were sent.

I was in over my head/
And was filled with dread.
All I wanted to do/
Was buy some organic bread.

There’s something I’m forgetting/
Something I’d be regretting.
I looked at my grocery list/
And then stopped my fretting.

I was ready for this/
I was filled with bliss.
On my list was a note/
In case something with amiss.

I simply stopped believing in water/
In this I did not falter.
I’m so glad I learned this trick/
From my good friend Walter.

The flood went away/
Back down by the bay.
But I stopped believing in water/
And died from dehydration the next day.

I think I'm getting better at these?

I think I’m getting better at these?

Okay, sometimes you just have to be real. A list of things I actually cannot do:

Posted by Poorly Drawn Bees on

– Suplex at least half of the things that I’ve stated that I can suplex in the past.

– Write good hair metal. Is that even what it’s called? Y’know, with the headbanging and the hair and stuff?

– Break the law because that would be illegal.

– Touch this.

– Visualize somebody as a turkey regardless of how hungry I am.

– Pretend that I’m interested in your cat stores.

– Pretend that I’m not interested in playing with your adorable cat.

– Dress myself apparently.

– Write on here for the next couple of weeks because I’ll be moving and practicing for my charity gaming marathon like everyone and their dog is doing these days.

As a friend of mine always said, I love you all wherever you are in the world tonight. ❤

Talk to y’all soon!

bee

A partial list of things that I can realistically suplex: Part 3.

Posted by Poorly Drawn Bees on

(Click here for Part 2)

(Click here for Part 1)

– The mail.

– The mailman.

– A straw man, don’t even argue with me on this.

– A bag filled with your worthless Beanie Babies.

– A bag filled with bags.

– Lumber.

– Office chairs.

– This post if it was printed off and pinned to a small post.

– I could list a lot of things I could suplex if they’re in bags. Let’s just go with bags of stuff in general.

– Mythical creatures that turn into copies of anything I’ve listed in this three part series.

– You?

Sketch254866

A list of things that I can generally fit into:

Posted by Poorly Drawn Bees on

– A variety of roles depending on the scene I need to act out.

– A variety of rolls depending on how large they’re baked.

– The chicken suit I’ll be wearing at my next job if anyone finds out these are the “notes” I’ve been taking during meetings.

– Something sexier if you’d like.

– The urge to write “Your mom” in all caps is very strong. Apparently I’m still 14 and this sort of thing is funny.

– Large freezers, but let’s not try this one out okay?

– Photos that taken from at least several feet away.

– Footwear in my size.

– Public ball pits, although nobody will let me.

– The confines of society. Well, long enough to excel at a job interview anyway.

I gotta fill up the rest of our fridge door. Hmmm . . .

I gotta fill up the rest of our fridge door. Hmmm . . .

I’ve been unemployed for five hours and I’m already bored enough to make a list of the games I beat for the first time in 2012.

Posted by Poorly Drawn Bees on

As inspired by http://kotaku.com/numbers/

PC

Bastion
Left 4 Dead
Dinner Date
Noitu Love 2: Devolution
Penny Arcade’s On the Rain-Slick Precipice of Darkness: Episode 3
Dear Esther

360

DOOM (Original 3 episodes)
The Club
Radiant Silvergun
Gwange
Raiden IV
Raiden Fighter Aces
KoF Sky Stage

Wii

Xenoblade Chronicles

PS3

50 Cent: Blood on the Sand
Prince of Persia: Forgotten Sands
Dead to Rights: Retribution
Tekken Tag Tournament 2 (Platinum Trophy)
King of Fighters XIII (Platinum Trophy)
Call of Duty: Black Ops (The first one [Oh Dog, why?])
Sonic Generations
Section 8
Medal of Honor (2010)
Stacking
Borderlands
Ace Combat: Assault Horizon
The Simpsons Arcade Game
Sonic CD
Earthworm Jim HD

3DS

Super Mario Land 3D
Star Fox 64 3D
Dead or Alive: Dimensions (Story mode)
Mighty Switch Force

DS

Golden Sun: Dark Dawn

Vita:

Lumines Supernova (Depending on definition of finishing)
Playstation All-Stars Battle Royal (Platinum Trophy)
Mortal Kombat 9 (Story mode)
Rayman Origins
Really Big Sky Infinity (Again, depending on definition)

PSP

Mimana Iya Chronicle
Gitaroo Man Lives!

Android

Age of Zombies
Caligo Chaser
Cytus

Total: 43

That’s not even one a week ha ha. I must try harder!

A partial list of things that I can realistically suplex: Part 2.

Posted by Poorly Drawn Bees on

(Click here for Part 1)

– Yoga mats.

– A barbell with no weights on it.

– An intoxicated child.

– A paper mache statue created with printings of posts from this blog.

– A premade Halloween costume of the Queen.

– Art.

– Husks of corn.

– Very large life jackets, but not the people wearing them.

– Come to think of it, suplexing an inflatable raft sounds like it would be
pretty fun.

– A suitcase full of whatever it is that you cherish the most. I feel like most
people don’t cherish bricks or anything like that. If you cherish bricks more
than anything else you’re kind of weird. Call me. ❤

– Guitars. Especially if it’s a solo guitar during a solo performer’s solo. Not
to be confused with silos of any kind.

– That tower you spent the last couple of hours making with Legos? Oh ho ho ho
yessssssssssssssss.

– Trees. Well, small ones that aren’t really dug in that deep and haven’t taken
root yet. But it’s not as impressive when you point that out.

– Stop signs. Could you help me with taking them out of the ground first?

– A rolled up poster-sized drawing of the band Queen posing with the Queen.

The following is a list of things I have honestly done while extremely tired.

Posted by Poorly Drawn Bees on

– Spent an entire day contemplating how awesome the words “Tuna fish” are.

– Strongly considered peeing in the litter box belonging to a friend’s cat.

– Apologized to a fire hydrant after bumping into it.

– Wrote a story about being felt up by a large, orange tree in my bathroom.

– Slept through most of my Travel and Tourism course, but not in the way that would’ve made me a legend.

– Said the word “Horses” like 17 million times one day.

– Tried to start writing a book roughly 20 or so times now. I have yet to make it past 500 words.

– I honestly don’t remember the ending to so many video games since I’ve beaten them in a state of partial awareness.

– I slept through the last 15 minutes of ‘No Country for Old Men’! I have yet to see what happens. Please don’t spoil it for me. I really must get around to seeing it again at some point.

– I honestly tried to pick up someone once by going on a ramble that included my desire to throw small children off a bus. Although in my defense it was a noisy bar and I could have swore she said something along those lines, and not what she actually said which was more along the lines of doing a trust exercise with children that involves throwing them into pits of foam while volunteering to help out troubled children because she loves them so much.

***

– This bee was contributed by Ana from Halifax. I think at this point it’s safe to say you’ll all notice when I run out of contributed bees and go back to drawing my own ha ha. Thanks Ana!

Things that cause me to do a double-take.

Posted by Poorly Drawn Bees on

– Somebody else doing a double-take.

– Shadows that are shaped like people trying to stab me. Also, people who are trying to stab me.

– A really hot wombat in a tube top. Gotta stop and give them water, it’s just the right thing to do. The tube top always confuses me though.

– The Queen. Every. Single. Time.

– Explosions. Because I’m not a cool enough guy not to look at them.

– That table I just stubbed my toe on again and why is that table still there shouldn’t somebody move it already!?

– New Brunswick.

– Bubble wrap.

– Rips in the space/time continuum.

– Anything that looks like a duck, especially a duck.

– I asked Cleverbot about what causes a double-take, and it had this to say: “I make reality to be anything. Which means everything is real.”

– Kick-able snow banks because apparently I’m still twelve.

– Kick-able twelve year olds because apparently I’m still a vengeful snow bank.

– VHS tapes for rent/sale at corner stores. Even as a vinyl fan I’m puzzled as to if there’s actually a scene for that sort of thing still.

– You. ❤

***

(My ladyfriend went to Ontario for work-related purposes last week and left this on my computer desk. She’s pretty much the coolest person ever.)

Everything I know about bees.‏

Posted by Poorly Drawn Bees on

A lot of people have been accusing me lately of not knowing anything about bees, claiming that I’ve been stereotyping bees as a cartoonish creature of little importance instead of an important part of our ecosystem.

Listen, I know tons about bees. Like the following:

Bees are fuzzy and have some legs.

All bees are secretly ninjas. Or are all ninjas secretly bees? Would either one really be that different from the other?

They don’t take any of your shit. None. They will up and up leave if you try to start anything with them.

A bee was certainly not involved with the writing of this post whether it be directly or indirectly by . . . I don’t know . . . Standing on my eyebrow with a stinger pointed at my eye.

I feel like the Queen doesn’t like bees and I resent her for that.

Bees know where the sweet spots are.

They’re also really cuddly. Try it out sometime! (Editor’s Note: Don’t actually try that out.) (Addendum to Editor’s Note: Ignore the Editor’s Note, live a little. C’moooooooon.)

Bees can fly.

They can fit into a lot of small places. You never know where they’ll turn up! Better start checking everywhere all the time just to be safe.

Every bee is best friends with every other bee.

Bees are totally not at all like horses. Additionally you cannot ride a bee no matter how hard you close your eyes and wish.

Some bees just want to watch the world burn (Pictured below.).