A partial list of things that I can realistically suplex: Part 4.‏

– A sack of coffee to start off the day.

– A beehive that is completely devoid of bees.

– A short person with a beehive hair style.

– An assault rifle, preferably unloaded with the safety on.

– Freshly cut wheat.

– GOATS, ESPECIALLY THE SIMULATED KIND!

– The competition! As long as I’m competing against children. I can beat children in anything except being short and smelly.

– I could suplex Jet Li. Or at least the life-sized cutout that my ladyface owns.

– Nerds. Boxes and boxes of nerds.

– The knowledge of the world contained in SSD drives.

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As per Ari, thanks Ari!

Everyday errands.

I went to town/
I had a frown.
But I never expected/
That I would drown.

But there I went/
As reality bent.
Out of a small garage/
Many tonnes of water were sent.

I was in over my head/
And was filled with dread.
All I wanted to do/
Was buy some organic bread.

There’s something I’m forgetting/
Something I’d be regretting.
I looked at my grocery list/
And then stopped my fretting.

I was ready for this/
I was filled with bliss.
On my list was a note/
In case something with amiss.

I simply stopped believing in water/
In this I did not falter.
I’m so glad I learned this trick/
From my good friend Walter.

The flood went away/
Back down by the bay.
But I stopped believing in water/
And died from dehydration the next day.

I think I'm getting better at these?

I think I’m getting better at these?

Okay, sometimes you just have to be real. A list of things I actually cannot do:

– Suplex at least half of the things that I’ve stated that I can suplex in the past.

– Write good hair metal. Is that even what it’s called? Y’know, with the headbanging and the hair and stuff?

– Break the law because that would be illegal.

– Touch this.

– Visualize somebody as a turkey regardless of how hungry I am.

– Pretend that I’m interested in your cat stores.

– Pretend that I’m not interested in playing with your adorable cat.

– Dress myself apparently.

– Write on here for the next couple of weeks because I’ll be moving and practicing for my charity gaming marathon like everyone and their dog is doing these days.

As a friend of mine always said, I love you all wherever you are in the world tonight. ❤

Talk to y’all soon!

bee

A partial list of things that I can realistically suplex: Part 3.

(Click here for Part 2)

(Click here for Part 1)

– The mail.

– The mailman.

– A straw man, don’t even argue with me on this.

– A bag filled with your worthless Beanie Babies.

– A bag filled with bags.

– Lumber.

– Office chairs.

– This post if it was printed off and pinned to a small post.

– I could list a lot of things I could suplex if they’re in bags. Let’s just go with bags of stuff in general.

– Mythical creatures that turn into copies of anything I’ve listed in this three part series.

– You?

Sketch254866

A list of things that I can generally fit into:

– A variety of roles depending on the scene I need to act out.

– A variety of rolls depending on how large they’re baked.

– The chicken suit I’ll be wearing at my next job if anyone finds out these are the “notes” I’ve been taking during meetings.

– Something sexier if you’d like.

– The urge to write “Your mom” in all caps is very strong. Apparently I’m still 14 and this sort of thing is funny.

– Large freezers, but let’s not try this one out okay?

– Photos that taken from at least several feet away.

– Footwear in my size.

– Public ball pits, although nobody will let me.

– The confines of society. Well, long enough to excel at a job interview anyway.

I gotta fill up the rest of our fridge door. Hmmm . . .

I gotta fill up the rest of our fridge door. Hmmm . . .

I’ve been unemployed for five hours and I’m already bored enough to make a list of the games I beat for the first time in 2012.

As inspired by http://kotaku.com/numbers/

PC

Bastion
Left 4 Dead
Dinner Date
Noitu Love 2: Devolution
Penny Arcade’s On the Rain-Slick Precipice of Darkness: Episode 3
Dear Esther

360

DOOM (Original 3 episodes)
The Club
Radiant Silvergun
Gwange
Raiden IV
Raiden Fighter Aces
KoF Sky Stage

Wii

Xenoblade Chronicles

PS3

50 Cent: Blood on the Sand
Prince of Persia: Forgotten Sands
Dead to Rights: Retribution
Tekken Tag Tournament 2 (Platinum Trophy)
King of Fighters XIII (Platinum Trophy)
Call of Duty: Black Ops (The first one [Oh Dog, why?])
Sonic Generations
Section 8
Medal of Honor (2010)
Stacking
Borderlands
Ace Combat: Assault Horizon
The Simpsons Arcade Game
Sonic CD
Earthworm Jim HD

3DS

Super Mario Land 3D
Star Fox 64 3D
Dead or Alive: Dimensions (Story mode)
Mighty Switch Force

DS

Golden Sun: Dark Dawn

Vita:

Lumines Supernova (Depending on definition of finishing)
Playstation All-Stars Battle Royal (Platinum Trophy)
Mortal Kombat 9 (Story mode)
Rayman Origins
Really Big Sky Infinity (Again, depending on definition)

PSP

Mimana Iya Chronicle
Gitaroo Man Lives!

Android

Age of Zombies
Caligo Chaser
Cytus

Total: 43

That’s not even one a week ha ha. I must try harder!

A partial list of things that I can realistically suplex: Part 2.

(Click here for Part 1)

– Yoga mats.

– A barbell with no weights on it.

– An intoxicated child.

– A paper mache statue created with printings of posts from this blog.

– A premade Halloween costume of the Queen.

– Art.

– Husks of corn.

– Very large life jackets, but not the people wearing them.

– Come to think of it, suplexing an inflatable raft sounds like it would be
pretty fun.

– A suitcase full of whatever it is that you cherish the most. I feel like most
people don’t cherish bricks or anything like that. If you cherish bricks more
than anything else you’re kind of weird. Call me. ❤

– Guitars. Especially if it’s a solo guitar during a solo performer’s solo. Not
to be confused with silos of any kind.

– That tower you spent the last couple of hours making with Legos? Oh ho ho ho
yessssssssssssssss.

– Trees. Well, small ones that aren’t really dug in that deep and haven’t taken
root yet. But it’s not as impressive when you point that out.

– Stop signs. Could you help me with taking them out of the ground first?

– A rolled up poster-sized drawing of the band Queen posing with the Queen.