Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeah buddy!

There’s a five alarm fire and I just remembered my desire. I wanna go into the sky and keep going higher.

Y’all don’t even know how bad I want this.

When I was a preteen I climbed a tree and reached for the stars. It took the firemen like an hour to talk me down but I saved on time by falling out of the tree instead. I may have spent six or seven years in intensive care and had my Sega Genesis taken away for part of that period but it was totally worth it to live the dream for just a moment.

Having spent most of my late childhood/early teens in the hospital without even so much as a day pass left me unable to cope with the social pressures of high school. When I wasn’t busy being thrown into every object imaginable (Glass beaker displays were the worst!) I spent my days looking forward to the night so I could stare at the stars. I just wanted to be among the stars sooooooooo hard it hurt me deeply.

Now where was I . . .

Oh right! I’m being burned alive in this fire! I think this will have to be the end of the post as I am now dead. Cheers!

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TO THE MOON ALLISON!

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We all know the song “Fly Me To The Moon,” right?

Just so we’re in the clear I love this song just like everyone else in the world (and not just because I was brainwashed to do so by Bayonetta). However, the whole romantic flight to space thing that has been mentioned many times in popular culture has left me more than a little puzzled.

Right off the bat there’s the attire you’ll both be wearing. Either you’ll be remaining within the spacecraft to have a more relaxed variety of clothing options in which case you’re just spending your trip inside (although the view out the window would be nice I guess) or you’ll be outside of the space craft and wearing space suits. I’ve honestly never been in a space suit but I have never seen a picture of a person wearing a spacesuit that has led me to thinking of anything particularly romantic. Aside from that bit of craziness in Final Fantasy VIII of course.

Then there’s space itself. Although the scenery would be extremely beautiful and two people could truly feel alone together, I feel like the latter would be a novelty that would wear off quickly. Realistically two people can only admire themselves with no interruption for so long before boredom would set in. A time that would be much, much shorter than the time it would take to get into space in the first place.

All in all it seems like an excursion would to space may be somewhat romantic if you could make the trip easily, but with that said if it became easy to travel to space then everyone would do it and it would take much of the power and intimacy of such a trip in the first place. Or maybe I’m just jaded.

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A partial list of things that I can realistically suplex: Part 2.

(Click here for Part 1)

– Yoga mats.

– A barbell with no weights on it.

– An intoxicated child.

– A paper mache statue created with printings of posts from this blog.

– A premade Halloween costume of the Queen.

– Art.

– Husks of corn.

– Very large life jackets, but not the people wearing them.

– Come to think of it, suplexing an inflatable raft sounds like it would be
pretty fun.

– A suitcase full of whatever it is that you cherish the most. I feel like most
people don’t cherish bricks or anything like that. If you cherish bricks more
than anything else you’re kind of weird. Call me. ❤

– Guitars. Especially if it’s a solo guitar during a solo performer’s solo. Not
to be confused with silos of any kind.

– That tower you spent the last couple of hours making with Legos? Oh ho ho ho
yessssssssssssssss.

– Trees. Well, small ones that aren’t really dug in that deep and haven’t taken
root yet. But it’s not as impressive when you point that out.

– Stop signs. Could you help me with taking them out of the ground first?

– A rolled up poster-sized drawing of the band Queen posing with the Queen.