Tl;dr.

It was because I tripped on black ice that one time that the average person can no longer enjoy life and for that I’m deeply sorry.

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Things that cause me to do a double-take.

– Somebody else doing a double-take.

– Shadows that are shaped like people trying to stab me. Also, people who are trying to stab me.

– A really hot wombat in a tube top. Gotta stop and give them water, it’s just the right thing to do. The tube top always confuses me though.

– The Queen. Every. Single. Time.

– Explosions. Because I’m not a cool enough guy not to look at them.

– That table I just stubbed my toe on again and why is that table still there shouldn’t somebody move it already!?

– New Brunswick.

– Bubble wrap.

– Rips in the space/time continuum.

– Anything that looks like a duck, especially a duck.

– I asked Cleverbot about what causes a double-take, and it had this to say: “I make reality to be anything. Which means everything is real.”

– Kick-able snow banks because apparently I’m still twelve.

– Kick-able twelve year olds because apparently I’m still a vengeful snow bank.

– VHS tapes for rent/sale at corner stores. Even as a vinyl fan I’m puzzled as to if there’s actually a scene for that sort of thing still.

– You. ❤

***

(My ladyfriend went to Ontario for work-related purposes last week and left this on my computer desk. She’s pretty much the coolest person ever.)