Why aren’t pet squirrels more of a thing?

I imagine that having a pet squirrel would be amazing. Like, wouldn’t it be really ticklish and weird if they climbed all over you? And what if you could train them to grab you small things off the top shelf and stuff? That’d be fantastic.


A list of things animals are allowed to do that I am not allowed to do.

– As a friend of mine put it, ‘violent headbutt snuggles’.

– Greeting people by licking them.

– Eat my food without the use of my hands out of a dish that’s on the floor.

– Sleep for twenty hours a day without falling behind on bills and food.

– Scratch up the couch with my nails while only getting a stern ‘stop that’.

– Bark loudly all night and have it blamed on somebody else.

– Wake people up whenever I want any little thing, even if I just want somebody to scratch an itch.

– Leave my poop lying around in a box or throw it at people.

– Rolling around on the ground to look cute (especially outside).

– Be completely clueless about current events in the world and have everyone be okay with that.