I didn’t have a title, but the permalink suggested ‘1166’, so this post shall now be referred to as such.

So I have an idea for a new family activity. Sometime get together with everyone and make a list of everything liquid in your house sorted by ones you can gargle, and ones that you cannot. If you’re not sure about a particular substance, do try it out and make a record for future reference.

Apparently my sister is starting a webcomic about a cat in a human body. I guess there’s something that could be said that no matter how ‘out there’ you are, one can always find normality within one’s own family? https://www.facebook.com/CathyComic

I don’t think we’ve ever gargled household liquids together though.
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Distractions. I had an announcement in here somewhere.

Sometimes people ask me what I’m thinking. Usually I have to struggle to come up with a thought that is relevant because if I shared what was really on my mind it’d become very obvious that I wasn’t paying attention.

I wonder why anybody would get excited over a horse-drawn carriage? Personally I’m not even sure you could look at anything drawn by a horse and have any idea as to what it’s supposed to be. 

It took me many, many years to come to grips with the fact that I’m actually a very terrible listener. Despite having passed hearing tests as a teenager with flying colors it was only within the past couple of years that I realized that my problem is actually that I can’t really focus on what any one person is saying. I can get distracted by anything. And I mean anything.

Apparently there’s a webcomic called Poorly Drawn Lines. I get some hits from people looking for that. With that said I get about as many hits from people looking for drawn erotica so maybe I shouldn’t think about it too much. Or maybe I’ve stumbled upon a new niche market I can tap into.

Oh, exciting news! We now have a button maker! One for larger buttons too! I might have a design or two up for sale soon.

Marsha has pretty much made it mandatory for all visitors to drawn bees.

Marsha has pretty much made it mandatory for all visitors to draw bees.

The power of a shower.

I’ve always been somewhat amused that one of the things people generally do after being drenched during a downpour from a mixture of water from the rain and moisture from sweat is to go home and take a shower in more water. I mean, I understand why that’s necessary and all. I’m just amused.

Whelp, that’s all I had to say on that. I went to dailypost.wordpress.com and found this gem for today:

Daily Prompt: Places

Beach, mountain, forest, or somewhere else entirely?”

Is . . . I don’t even understand if that’s a question? Although if I was to spend an extensive amount of time traveling in any of those environments I guess I would need a shower afterwards.

You know what? I’m not done talking about showers yet.

I know I’ve touched on the misfortune of having frightening thoughts about spiders and stuff while you’re washing your face and you can’t open your eyes because you’ll get soap/shampoo in them so you’re just stuck with those thoughts for several seconds but . . . There are good thoughts that happen in the shower as well. The shower is the one place in the world that’s still internet/smartphone free, so it’s the one place in the world that everyone can just take a few minutes and have a thought. Or two on a good day. So until I get a waterproof cover for my phone I guess that’ll always be the best place for ideas.

Maybe I should’ve tried to write something after a shower because I clearly don’t have any clue on what I should be writing about right now.

My good friend Real drew this for me! Thanks man!

My good friend Real drew this for me! Thanks man!

My internet was acting up. But thankfully I had an answer!

So I’m trying to play some Tekken online with some friends the other night but my PS3 was all like “I ain’t reading your cable buddy-guy!” to which I responded “Why not and since when could you talk?”. Turns out it didn’t feel like having anything plugged into it that night so I had to play wireless but Tekken Tag Tournment 2 has slick netcode so nobody was any the wiser.

Then the next day I tried to play some Street Fighter X Tekken online because the big patch is here and I have to pretend I didn’t openly despise the game all this time for at least a couple months. My PS3 finally consented to taking the cord, but the experience was . . . Jarring to say the least. The visuals would show a hit that was actually a block, people were randomly teleporting halfway across the screen instead of jumping . . . I don’t what game this was but it wasn’t the one I signed up for!

So I hit up Skype and talked to buddy I was playing online with the other night about how I should make amends to my internet. He suggested poetry and flowers.

. . . Genius!

It took me a week to make the arrangements but I knew it would be worth it. Then the time came on a quiet Friday evening. After laying a bouquet of several dozen roses onto the modem I brought in a local barbershop quartet to sing this poem:

“Oh baby/
You’re so fine.
Now please let me/
Go online!”

Just in case that wasn’t classy enough, I also paid them to sing this haiku:

“Oh you, internet.
Please, please, please, please, please, please, please
Work for me now? Please?”

My significant other questioned how I could afford all of this, especially since I told her I was too broke to do much for Valentine’s Day. To which I told her that maybe I would pay more attention to her if she did stuff like this:

(Don’t read too much into that one, okay?)

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I’d give credit, but she put her name and the inspiration right there! Plus one for my laziness!
But seriously, thanks Ting Ting, you rock! :3

For my 100th post, I remembered that I started this blog to tell silly stories!

I was monitoring my monitor looking for miniature Minotaurs to go on a mini-tour through Ecuador. As both bodyguards and storytellers they simply can’t be beat. After about 17 hours of fruitlessly staring at my screen I decided that the whole thing was a waste of time. Partially because I’m not actually going on any sort of tour, but mostly because Minotaurs don’t exist anyway.

Shutting off my computer, I decided to lay down on my carpet. Sometimes you just gotta lay on the floor, you know what I mean? If you don’t understand then I don’t know what to say. Anyhoo . . . My eyelids began to feel heavy, the lack of sleep finally beginning to catch up with me.

Not knowing how long I had dozed off for, I awoke gently. Unfortunately that was the last gentle moment that I would ever experience.

Ever get that feeling where you stick to a chair after sitting on it in your underwear/while nude for so long? I was getting that feeling from carpet. I tried to get up but couldn’t move. I looked over and was horrified to see that I was quickly being swallowed up by the carpet.

Before I knew it I was one with the carpet. Or to be more accurate, one within the carpet. It was odd. The mass of carpet grew around me as I remained in the center. I didn’t understand what was happening, nor did I have any way of knowing just how far and how fast this mass of carpet was growing. It was like my own little world. But isn’t wasn’t a very nice world. I was still completely stuck. I guess coffin would be a better word for it? Yeah, let’s go with coffin.

For some reason I felt like I had gone through this many times before. I simply closed my eyes and accepted my impending death. My living room floor is my home now, and layers of dirt that vacuum cleaners miss are the only things I know. The last thing I felt before passing out from a lack of air was a rather fuzzy feeling.

I would eventually awake in a grassy field. And only the panda suit remained . . . 

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100 bees! Which one is your favourite?