Wait, when did I become an adult?

Today while on a break from my office job I decided to forego buying an album and bought sunscreen instead. After half an hour or so it hit me. When did I start having mature priorities in life? Why am I only thinking of this now at the age of 26? When was the moment in your life that you realized the same for yourself if you’ve done so yet?

Okay, now that I have an opening paragraph long enough to mess with the WordPress/Facebook previews, let’s get something going here. Something a little more exciting if I may . . .

Let me tell you about something that’s going to happen tomorrow that I’m not actually aware of yet.

In the near future I’m going to go completely stir-crazy. You see, I’ll be in the kitchen when . . . Ha ha, just kidding. I’m not that terrible of a writer.

It’s a little hazy but in my near future I see myself in a shabby, worn out three piece suit as if I just wore it through a fierce battle. I apparently become rich somehow.  A wrecked hummer can be found parked in the middle of a casino lobby. Whether that has anything to do with me I’m not sure, but I’m being blamed for it anyway. I get beat up and thrown into jail. I escape. Making my way to a secluded forest north of a small town in a rural area of a central Canadian province, I use my money to become their king.

Using the resources of my small town I gather my loyal subjects together and we take over a smaller town. Then I pool the two towns together and take over a town that’s slightly smaller than the combination of those two towns. I repeat this until I become the Prime Minister. Then after a long struggle I finally manage to outlaw spiders while still having time for a sweet photo op before bed.

When this happens I’ll post pics as proof.

Memos are not a thing I do well. I am so sorry.

Memos are not a thing that I do well. I am so sorry.