Things that cause me to do a double-take.

– Somebody else doing a double-take.

– Shadows that are shaped like people trying to stab me. Also, people who are trying to stab me.

– A really hot wombat in a tube top. Gotta stop and give them water, it’s just the right thing to do. The tube top always confuses me though.

– The Queen. Every. Single. Time.

– Explosions. Because I’m not a cool enough guy not to look at them.

– That table I just stubbed my toe on again and why is that table still there shouldn’t somebody move it already!?

– New Brunswick.

– Bubble wrap.

– Rips in the space/time continuum.

– Anything that looks like a duck, especially a duck.

– I asked Cleverbot about what causes a double-take, and it had this to say: “I make reality to be anything. Which means everything is real.”

– Kick-able snow banks because apparently I’m still twelve.

– Kick-able twelve year olds because apparently I’m still a vengeful snow bank.

– VHS tapes for rent/sale at corner stores. Even as a vinyl fan I’m puzzled as to if there’s actually a scene for that sort of thing still.

– You. ❤

***

(My ladyfriend went to Ontario for work-related purposes last week and left this on my computer desk. She’s pretty much the coolest person ever.)

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A list of things that would hurt me if I kicked them.

A wall. For the most part.

Mike Tyson.

The leg of that table which I swear if I stub my toe on it for like the seventh time tonight I’m going to destroy the thing entirely using only thoughts of explosions.

A cardboard box full of German Shepherds. Also, a cardboard box full of shepherds that happen to be German.

The majority of doors which is super disappointing.

The Queen (Although the pain wouldn’t be from her directly . . . Probably her guards or something.).

Cute animals, although the pain is more emotional in that case to be honest.

Beehives. Although it is an impressive feat of agility.

Marsha suggested an alligator. That’s reasonable.

BEARS! THE ALLIGATORS OF THE LAND!

A glass box of rusty nails.

City Hall regardless of if it’s in session or not.

The sun, the stars, a lit fireplace . . . Anything that is made of fire.

Robots that look like people. I fall for it every time.

Myself.

(Editor’s Note: The follow picture is from my girlfriend and several of her friends (One of these bees was drawn by a semi-professional manga artist.). All of these were drawn left handed on a moving train.)