A list of things animals are allowed to do that I am not allowed to do.

– As a friend of mine put it, ‘violent headbutt snuggles’.

– Greeting people by licking them.

– Eat my food without the use of my hands out of a dish that’s on the floor.

– Sleep for twenty hours a day without falling behind on bills and food.

– Scratch up the couch with my nails while only getting a stern ‘stop that’.

– Bark loudly all night and have it blamed on somebody else.

– Wake people up whenever I want any little thing, even if I just want somebody to scratch an itch.

– Leave my poop lying around in a box or throw it at people.

– Rolling around on the ground to look cute (especially outside).

– Be completely clueless about current events in the world and have everyone be okay with that.