It started off as an otherwise peaceful night. I was sound asleep on a normal Friday evening. Why I awoke I’ll never know but I felt a strong need to get some water.
Meandering my way to the living room the unusually clear sky caught my attention. Nothing stood out at first. Could almost see some stars through the light pollution of the city and there was a half moon. All of a sudden a shooting star flew across the sky. Or . . . I thought it was a shooting star but it struck the earth nearby with a bright flash? That’s not how stars work right? I couldn’t believe my eyes and it bothered me.
After thinking about it for a few I decided to investigate. Carefully getting dressed and leaving without waking my fiancée I snuck out of the apartment, flashlight in hand. It was oddly easy to find the spot. It was even more odd that I was the only one there what with all the glowing and all.
The source of the glowing was in the middle of a small pond. I got down on my hands and needs. Shining my flashlight into the water a fish the size of an adult trout swam over to me. Something was off though. Was that . . . Was that a hand? Like a human hand? On a fish?
The fish quizzically looked me over for a minute. Then it took its hand and . . . Formed an ‘L’ shape with its finger and thumb in the middle of its forehead. Its mouth opened as it began to vocalize:
“HEY NOW, YOU’RE AN ALL STAR, GET YOUR GAME ON GO PLAY.
HEY NOW, YOU’RE A RO . . . ”
I learned two things as a result of that moment.
1: I’m surprisingly good at beating a fish over the head with my walking stick.
2: Mystical singing space fish is surprisingly delicious.
“Draw me like one of your jilted lovers.”
“Uh, I only do pixel art and I ain’t that great to be honest.”
“Did I fucking stutter?”
“Well, okay. But this is still an odd thing to be asked of by an insect or whatever you are.”