My internet was acting up. But thankfully I had an answer!

So I’m trying to play some Tekken online with some friends the other night but my PS3 was all like “I ain’t reading your cable buddy-guy!” to which I responded “Why not and since when could you talk?”. Turns out it didn’t feel like having anything plugged into it that night so I had to play wireless but Tekken Tag Tournment 2 has slick netcode so nobody was any the wiser.

Then the next day I tried to play some Street Fighter X Tekken online because the big patch is here and I have to pretend I didn’t openly despise the game all this time for at least a couple months. My PS3 finally consented to taking the cord, but the experience was . . . Jarring to say the least. The visuals would show a hit that was actually a block, people were randomly teleporting halfway across the screen instead of jumping . . . I don’t what game this was but it wasn’t the one I signed up for!

So I hit up Skype and talked to buddy I was playing online with the other night about how I should make amends to my internet. He suggested poetry and flowers.

. . . Genius!

It took me a week to make the arrangements but I knew it would be worth it. Then the time came on a quiet Friday evening. After laying a bouquet of several dozen roses onto the modem I brought in a local barbershop quartet to sing this poem:

“Oh baby/
You’re so fine.
Now please let me/
Go online!”

Just in case that wasn’t classy enough, I also paid them to sing this haiku:

“Oh you, internet.
Please, please, please, please, please, please, please
Work for me now? Please?”

My significant other questioned how I could afford all of this, especially since I told her I was too broke to do much for Valentine’s Day. To which I told her that maybe I would pay more attention to her if she did stuff like this:

(Don’t read too much into that one, okay?)

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I’d give credit, but she put her name and the inspiration right there! Plus one for my laziness!
But seriously, thanks Ting Ting, you rock! :3

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I assure you this blog is still going strong!

I just got hit by writer’s block. This is rather odd, for there are many people who would claim that I not a writer by any meaning of the word. Then again those same people also compare me to a monkey with a typewriter. I know they’re wrong because I’m clearly using a computer and I haven’t thrown my poop at anybody in years (Months?).

Noting that the block was larger than a doorframe and not being able to recall anything regarding writer’s block destroying someone’s home I simply went back inside.

Whelp, I’m glad I got that over with.

Still lacking an idea for a story I drank two doses of Neo-Citran and nodded off. That stuff can give you some pretty messed up dreams. Unfortunately that night I just dreamt about a lot of split pea soup. Geysers and oceans of split pea soup. Interesting and all, but where could I run with that idea?

The next morning I sat down at my computer with hot chocolate in hand. That’s when it hit me. Writer’s block is a thing that exists entirely in my own head. Whatever I ran into outside yesterday couldn’t have been writer’s block. It was probably another building or something to that effect.

After taking a drill to my skull and letting the obstructive thoughts out, I’m glad to say that it worked and I’m working on some stories as of this writing. It is my hope that this explanation will satisfy your curiosity as to the slower rate of updates as of late.

Until then, love yourself and the world will follow suit. ❤

***
Oh shit, it’s a picture of me sponsoring myself at a Tekken tournament!