– The mail.
– The mailman.
– A straw man, don’t even argue with me on this.
– A bag filled with your worthless Beanie Babies.
– A bag filled with bags.
– Lumber.
– Office chairs.
– This post if it was printed off and pinned to a small post.
– I could list a lot of things I could suplex if they’re in bags. Let’s just go with bags of stuff in general.
– Mythical creatures that turn into copies of anything I’ve listed in this three part series.
– You?
– A variety of roles depending on the scene I need to act out.
– A variety of rolls depending on how large they’re baked.
– The chicken suit I’ll be wearing at my next job if anyone finds out these are the “notes” I’ve been taking during meetings.
– Something sexier if you’d like.
– The urge to write “Your mom” in all caps is very strong. Apparently I’m still 14 and this sort of thing is funny.
– Large freezers, but let’s not try this one out okay?
– Photos that taken from at least several feet away.
– Footwear in my size.
– Public ball pits, although nobody will let me.
– The confines of society. Well, long enough to excel at a job interview anyway.
I gotta fill up the rest of our fridge door. Hmmm . . .
– Somebody else doing a double-take.
– Shadows that are shaped like people trying to stab me. Also, people who are trying to stab me.
– A really hot wombat in a tube top. Gotta stop and give them water, it’s just the right thing to do. The tube top always confuses me though.
– The Queen. Every. Single. Time.
– Explosions. Because I’m not a cool enough guy not to look at them.
– That table I just stubbed my toe on again and why is that table still there shouldn’t somebody move it already!?
– New Brunswick.
– Bubble wrap.
– Rips in the space/time continuum.
– Anything that looks like a duck, especially a duck.
– I asked Cleverbot about what causes a double-take, and it had this to say: “I make reality to be anything. Which means everything is real.”
– Kick-able snow banks because apparently I’m still twelve.
– Kick-able twelve year olds because apparently I’m still a vengeful snow bank.
– VHS tapes for rent/sale at corner stores. Even as a vinyl fan I’m puzzled as to if there’s actually a scene for that sort of thing still.
– You. ❤
***
(My ladyfriend went to Ontario for work-related purposes last week and left this on my computer desk. She’s pretty much the coolest person ever.)
Poorly Drawn Bees 