A partial list of things that I can realistically suplex: Part 3.

(Click here for Part 2)

(Click here for Part 1)

– The mail.

– The mailman.

– A straw man, don’t even argue with me on this.

– A bag filled with your worthless Beanie Babies.

– A bag filled with bags.

– Lumber.

– Office chairs.

– This post if it was printed off and pinned to a small post.

– I could list a lot of things I could suplex if they’re in bags. Let’s just go with bags of stuff in general.

– Mythical creatures that turn into copies of anything I’ve listed in this three part series.

– You?

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A list of things that I can generally fit into:

– A variety of roles depending on the scene I need to act out.

– A variety of rolls depending on how large they’re baked.

– The chicken suit I’ll be wearing at my next job if anyone finds out these are the “notes” I’ve been taking during meetings.

– Something sexier if you’d like.

– The urge to write “Your mom” in all caps is very strong. Apparently I’m still 14 and this sort of thing is funny.

– Large freezers, but let’s not try this one out okay?

– Photos that taken from at least several feet away.

– Footwear in my size.

– Public ball pits, although nobody will let me.

– The confines of society. Well, long enough to excel at a job interview anyway.

I gotta fill up the rest of our fridge door. Hmmm . . .

I gotta fill up the rest of our fridge door. Hmmm . . .

Things that cause me to do a double-take.

– Somebody else doing a double-take.

– Shadows that are shaped like people trying to stab me. Also, people who are trying to stab me.

– A really hot wombat in a tube top. Gotta stop and give them water, it’s just the right thing to do. The tube top always confuses me though.

– The Queen. Every. Single. Time.

– Explosions. Because I’m not a cool enough guy not to look at them.

– That table I just stubbed my toe on again and why is that table still there shouldn’t somebody move it already!?

– New Brunswick.

– Bubble wrap.

– Rips in the space/time continuum.

– Anything that looks like a duck, especially a duck.

– I asked Cleverbot about what causes a double-take, and it had this to say: “I make reality to be anything. Which means everything is real.”

– Kick-able snow banks because apparently I’m still twelve.

– Kick-able twelve year olds because apparently I’m still a vengeful snow bank.

– VHS tapes for rent/sale at corner stores. Even as a vinyl fan I’m puzzled as to if there’s actually a scene for that sort of thing still.

– You. ❤

***

(My ladyfriend went to Ontario for work-related purposes last week and left this on my computer desk. She’s pretty much the coolest person ever.)