Tag Archives: time

I did it!

Posted by Poorly Drawn Bees on

After six stifling months of a dreaded temporary assignment I fled from the building after my last shift. Freedom! It’s here! I can do whatever I want for the next ten days until the next one starts! The only problem is that I had no idea what I wanted to do with my time.

There was only one way to find out. I ran to the top of the nearest cliff. With one foot on a rock and the other on the ground, I struck a pose as the wind began to blow through my hair. The sky was ablaze with the wonderful sunset, and just as I have learned from video games, lines of text depicting my future began to scroll from from the horizon.

“As our hero finds his freedom,
An infinite chasm of choices await.”

Oh jeez, it’s going to do the whole setting up the story thing. Let’s get on with it already!

“Within time he will learn his destiny,
But that is not the only thing he will learn.”

Man, who writes garbage like this. Seriously?

“A man who will become aware of his true flaws,
Will become a man who blames others no more.
The very thing he has feared the most,
Is the very thing he will be the cause of.”

A little redundant, but now I’m scared.

“A struggle to find meaning in his spare time,
Will be the most meaningless struggle of all.
Because given ten minutes or ten days,
He will simply sit there online and look at stupid pictures anyway.

You know what? Screw you mystical text in the sky. My time off is going to be awesome! Just you wait and see.

Man, it’s been a weird week with my girlfriend halfway across the country.

Posted by Poorly Drawn Bees on

Like, the first couple days the place was overrun by hamsters.

They were everywhere. The floor was practically made out of them at one point. When I was leaving for work one day they covered my upper body and I wound up having to go through my day with a living, furry hamster hoodie.

In an attempt to engage them in conversation I decided to talk to them about their existence. I looked at one in the eye and said “Before we get started, I just wanted to you let you know that I’m not here to discuss me being real but you being aware.”  It worked. Not only were they confused, but hamsters tend to have trouble when it comes to becoming aware of their existence. They all disappeared with a gentle splash of Febreze being released into the air. That didn’t make me stop wanting to be a hamster on some level, but I had to move on.

After that I had to deal with a severe lack of things to carry other things with. I couldn’t find a bag for the life of me. The grocery store didn’t have any either (At least any they were willing to give away.). So I had to carry my lunches for the entire week entirely by hand. Carrying three thousand Snickers Bars around each day by hand is pretty tough.

Hopefully when she comes home tomorrow everything will be all sorted out by then. I do keep finding drumsticks in the most odd of places though. We don’t even play any musical instruments . . .