When I no longer rue the world, and decide to begin ruling it instead.

Yes, I’m doing that hack writing thing where I talk about what I would do if I ran the world as if anybody is supposed to care.

First thing to go? My dishes. Once I’m rich they’re becoming disposable. But I don’t mean disposable as in the kind that are labelled as such on the packaging. I mean disposable as in I’m going to buy whatever dishes I want, use them once and then hurl them against a wall above a chute that feeds into a trash compactor when I’m done.

Second? Nobody will be allowed to refer to eating an unhealthy snack as being naughty or bad. I don’t wanna hear women at the office saying things like “Mmmmmm, I’m being so naughty today.” unless it’s in between makeout sessions with each other.

Third: I will open a theme park filled with nothing but bunnies. They’ll all be given wonderful homes and taken care of. The park will have plenty of free roaming areas where bunnies will run around and people can pet them if they’re willing.

Other¬†miscellaneous things would include making spiders extinct while finding a way to fill their role in our ecosystem, making my own video game company and probably something that involves making me stupid rich. Because honestly, I’m human after all.

Hmmm . . . Outside of that it’d be mostly the usual stuff. Making war illegal, distributing wealth more evenly and all that stuff. If nothing else the ego boost from solving the world’s problems would totally make my life ha ha.

Loosely based on Waterworld. Except not at all.‚ÄŹ

Now what if the water was the land and the land was the water? Play with me here for a minute.

So we have a world. Everything above ground is water. For the sake of imagination let’s pretend we can only breath in water but not without it, the reverse of what we do now. The water fills up all the way to our ozone layer so that our planet covered in seemingly endless water instead of air. But under the ground level there is no water. The oceans are vast spaces of emptiness, lakes are ruts of dry dirt with water hovering above the ground level, etc.

We could swim anywhere above ground level. With enough physical strength one could swim up into the sky. I’m not sure how oxygen levels would work but this could almost be like being able to fly in a sense. Exploration for the normal person would nearly be limitless.

The ocean would be more dangerous than one made of water though. Falling into shallow emptiness wouldn’t be so bad if you could still reach the water and propel yourself back up. But any further and you would surely die. Would climbing lessons replace swimming lessons? Even if one could climb not being near a rock wall would spell certain doom for you seeing as how you wouldn’t be able to swim back up since all the water is up there.

You know that sensation you get when you stop being dry and become wet? What would it feel like if you were wet all the time and then became dry? And if your lungs are accustomed to being filled with fluids what would it feel like when you are suddenly deprived of them? Would it still be like drowning? What would the proper term be?

I imagine landscapes would lose much of their appeal. Something like the Grand Canyon would be much less impressive if you could just freely swim up and down it at will. What new extreme sports would be invented to replace mountain climbing and diving off large cliffs? Would we harness ourselves to the surface and bungee jump into the water-less crevasse below?

This one’s probably going to keep me awake for awhile.